The Hidden Pain of Parents in the Family Court System

The pain that fathers experience through the family court system is devastating to witness. Many are alienated from their children, forced into parenting programs, and left defending against false or exaggerated allegations. On top of this, they shoulder the financial weight of defending themselves, paying for compulsory courses, legal fees, and ongoing child support for a child they may not even be allowed to see. Meanwhile, the court process can drag on for years, eroding the bond between parent and child until it’s nearly destroyed.

The claim of “protecting a child” when no harm has occurred has become a monstrous tactic, used too often and with devastating consequences. Children, some only toddlers, are being ripped away from loving parents and denied contact for months while waiting for court orders or a place in a child contact centre. It can take months just to secure an order, and months more before supervised visits are even possible.

With over 90,000 family court matters filed last year, the number of children caught in this cycle is staggering. Programs like Kids Are First, Parenting After Separation, and Circle of Security often fail to influence the behaviour of the parent weaponising the system. The reality is darker, manipulation, coaching, and false narratives told to schools or services about the other parent are now common tools of control. Fathers are routinely denied access to school reports or updates simply because they’re not the enrolling parent.

The lengths some individuals go to in order to remove and ostracise a parent from a child are incomprehensible, and yet it’s happening at a monumental level. Thousands of people are now turning to YouTube and social media to share their stories, exposing what legislation and the court system have kept quiet for too long.

This isn’t just happening to fathers. Women, too, are being silenced and punished through the same system. But the deeper issue isn’t gender, it’s psychological. It’s about parents who cannot see their own abuse and continue it through the structures designed to protect children.

Until we begin to address that truth, the family court will continue to be less about protecting children, and more about prolonging pain.

Child psychological and systematic abuse seem now easier than stealing candy from a baby.