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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Aggression by Association – The Hidden Narrative of Character Attacks
In high-conflict separations, malicious parents will often go beyond the family unit to paint a broader picture of instability. One common tactic is to construct a narrative of aggression not just towards them, but towards others. This includes neighbours, friends, church members, coaches, family acquaintances, and even strangers in public settings. The goal here is clear: to establish a pattern of behaviour, one that suggests you're not just difficult with your former partne
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
When Stress Walks into Work – The Corporate Cost of Deregulated Nervous Systems
Separation and divorce aren't just emotional breakups, they’re identity collapses. And in Western societies, where our lives are built around what we have, who we love, and the roles we play, the destruction of a family unit isn’t just personal loss, it’s structural collapse. It’s not the separation itself that tears people apart, it’s what the separation means . In countries like Australia, where justice systems drag on and favour procedure over humanity, separation can mean
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
When the Workplace Becomes a Lifeline, or Another Battlefront
As much as employers desire consistent productivity from their team, there’s a harsh reality that can’t be ignored: an employee navigating a high-conflict separation, especially one involving family court battles, estrangement from children, or ongoing legal stress, is often running on fumes. They are not just fighting for emotional survival; they are fighting for financial survival too. Their job may be the only structure left standing, the only lifeline holding their world
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
A Corporate Resource for Creating a Stable, Trauma-Informed Workplace High-conflict separation, co-parenting challenges, and family court stress don’t just affect home life, they impact every part of a person’s wellbeing, including their work. Your employees may appear distracted, withdrawn, emotionally reactive, or frequently absent. But beneath the surface, they’re fighting to hold onto their children, their mental health, and their sense of safety in a system that often fe
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Why Employees Under Personal Stress Make Choices That Seem Irrational, and What Workplaces Can Do About It
Imagine someone choosing $50 over $100, it seems illogical. Everyone would choose the higher amount. But context changes everything. If placed in high stress, after a separation, court battle, or loss of children's contact, delayed gratification often takes a backseat to immediate emotional ease. People struggling emotionally may choose what feels instantly comforting, even if it costs more in the long run. Without support, patience dwindles. Advice from peers, well-meaning o
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Company Culture and the Misunderstood Vision of Its Leader
It’s not unusual to see a business that has no clearly defined mission statement, no real systems in place, and no process for how things are done. And when this happens, the product of that company becomes chaos—not the service, not the item for sale, but the actual experience of the company itself. Most people hear the word “product” and think of a physical thing or a service offering. But that’s a narrow view. The real product is the company itself—how it delivers, how it
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Validation That Matters: Creating Safety for Employees in Personal Crisis
Validation is not constant pats on the back or a quick, “Good job.” During personal trauma—especially high-conflict separation—chaos doesn’t just live in the individual’s outer world. It runs wild internally, in the mind and the nervous system. There’s a constant scanning for threats, a survival mode that rarely switches off. Employees in this state often don’t have the support to regulate their nervous system at home, and if the same is true at work, the stress compounds. Wi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Employee’s Roller Coaster of Emotions
For employees navigating separation, especially those chained to the family court system. The ups and downs of emotions can be hard to predict or navigate. Sudden sick leave or mental health leave may become frequent, not because the employee is trying to sabotage the business or hates their position, but because they need some control while they process the chaos in their personal life. Businesses that demand too much from employees, with little to no culture or sense of bel
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
When Silence Speaks Louder – Understanding Avoidant Behaviour After Separation
After a separation, particularly one marked by high conflict, the behaviour of an avoidant partner can feel cold, distant—even cruel. But behind the silence, the withdrawal, and the shutdown responses, there is often a far more complex truth. Avoidant individuals do not disconnect to punish. They disconnect to survive. To regulate. To protect themselves from overwhelm. Dr. Amir Levine, in his book Attached , explains that avoidant attachment develops in environments where em
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Anxious Attachment Style, When Fear Feels Like Love
We often mistake anxiety for passion. The longing. The urgency. The desperate need to be understood, to feel seen, to be chosen again and again. But beneath these powerful emotions lies something far deeper—a fear of abandonment that stems not from weakness or failure, but from wounds formed long before our adult relationships began. Anxious attachment is not a flaw. It is a response—a strategy developed in early life to secure connection in environments where love felt unpre
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 610 min read
Dating, The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth, Fear of Rejection
The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth – Fear of Rejection I think we all have this feeling — the hesitation, the holding back — especially when we feel that our past experiences might define how someone sees us. People say they don’t care what others think, and maybe that’s true to a point. But that usually erodes pretty quickly when we meet someone new. When we start to feel something. When the chance to be seen comes along. It doesn’t always start like that. Sometimes we’re
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Settling for Stability While Ignoring Red Flags
I see this all the time, and I’ve felt it in myself. That drive for stability after separation, to rebuild, to feel safe again. It’s understandable. When you’ve been through something as intense as a high-conflict separation, you don’t just want love, you crave ground beneath your feet. So we meet someone who seems like they have it all together. Good job, good car, a nice life. It looks like everything we’ve been trying to rebuild on our own, already built in front of us. Bu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Test We Receive to Grow
It is so easy to form the perspective that we just need to remove the dislikes we saw in our previous relationship, the things that made us angry, the personalities that set us off, and the situations that evolved that we’d say provoked us to behave the way we did. We look to the external world to blame for why we are the way we are. We hand over emotional authority to what happens outside of us. But what if these are actually tests? What if they’re opportunities to reveal t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Chase of a Partner
As we start to date again, especially after heartache or separation, it’s not uncommon to feel that pull — that yearning for connection. Some of us turn inwards out of fear, scared to be seen again. Some of us reach out, longing for the warmth of another. And every now and then, we go on a date, have a coffee, enjoy a walk — and something unexpected happens: genuine interest. Not just ours, but theirs too. And that’s when it hits. That moment where reality collides with desir
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
You Weren’t Robbed, They Were Just Passing Through
It’s a strange feeling, that hollow ache when someone you’ve just started connecting with suddenly disappears. A date, a spark, a few days or weeks of what felt like potential, gone. Maybe they ghosted, maybe they said it wasn’t right, maybe they just drifted away without much explanation. And somehow, we’re left with more than sadness, we’re left grieving a vision. Not just the person, but what we thought they could be for us . We don’t often fall in love with who they are,
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Dating After Hurt — Saying the Truth Without Losing Yourself
I don’t want you to feel bad about holding onto your truth when you meet someone you genuinely feel a connection with. Sometimes we meet someone at the gym, while out for coffee, doing the usual routine, and there’s this moment where you finally get the courage to say hi. You feel a spark. Maybe you swap numbers, grab a coffee, laugh a little, feel that familiar feeling of being seen again. But then there’s that gut pull — that internal voice that says, “You need to tell them
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
How Much Resilience Should Our Children Endure?
So many people say that children are resilient. And while this is true to some extent, it does not mean they will automatically develop healthy emotional coping strategies. In fact, when a child is constantly placed in an environment where they must adapt to pain, unpredictability, or emotional instability, their coping strategies may become their character. But are those coping strategies healthy, or are they survival mechanisms? What if what we often call resilience is actu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
A safe place to call home, Why Stability Matters More Than You Think.
I can understand, as a father, being the one who has to leave the family home. All too often, fathers are leaving their home or being kicked out and having to look for their own accommodation. But let us focus here on how our children feel in our home or place of residence. Whether this be a rental, your own house, or even if they are staying with their mother and you only get to see them on the weekend. If you cannot see your children at this time, it is hard to have any con
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Emotional Outbursts and the Safety to Feel
It can be confronting when your child begins to unravel emotionally after separation. Maybe it starts small: irritability, resistance, mood swings. But then comes the outburst—in public, at school, in a restaurant. A wave of emotion that catches you off guard, and with it, an urge to control, to shut it down quickly. Often, it seems less about the child's behaviour and more about controlling the perception of others: What will people think of my parenting? What does this say
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
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