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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Training the Nervous System: Why New Strategies Matter After High-Conflict Separation
It’s going to be uncomfortable, like leaning over a sitting on herself and feeling that discomfort right up to your upper abdomen. BUT, working through our discomfort is where we actually grow. It’s where we become more grounded internally, more secure in our own ability to handle uncertainty, and where we develop new strategies that truly serve us. These are not strategies to manipulate an outcome. If you manipulate for outcome, you're still not developing strength in uncert
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 184 min read
Why Traditional Therapy Fails People Navigating Separation — And Why Coaching Creates Real Change
The counselling and psychology space, as most people know it, is built around talk therapy. Session after session where the therapist asks the same question in a different sentence, trying to get you to see the problem through your own lens.But here’s the issue:This is one of the most brutally immoral approaches to real behavioural change. Why? Because the client comes in with the existing tools, the same internal reality, the same patterns of thinking that aren’t serving
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 164 min read
The Solution Isn’t in the Problem
At times, it’s worth looking at our mistakes and learning from them, and most therapists will have you sit there in the past, ruminating over and over on what went wrong, to somehow learn everything that can be learnt and to unpack every detail. But the solutions are rarely found in the problem. It’s everything that the problem is not where the solution can be found, where creativity comes from, and where the mind awakens to receive answers. The solution to the problem or sad
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 84 min read
When the Past Trains the Mind to Fear Love: Hyper-vigilance, Control, and Healing After High-Conflict Relationships
In relationships marked by betrayal, gaslighting, infidelity, or emotional abuse, the nervous system learns something dangerous: that love and danger can exist in the same space.When we’ve been blamed, manipulated, or told that everything is our fault, our body doesn’t just remember, it begins to predict . When Safety Becomes Control After living in survival mode for too long, our system becomes wired to scan for threats. A delay in a text, a change in tone, a distant look, e
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 84 min read
Money, Worth, and Receiving After Separation
Part 1: When Money and Love Feel the Same Many of us are working to heal the belief that we have to earn love. We used to think we had to be perfect, work hard, please others, or shape ourselves into what they needed just to be loved. But healing means learning we can receive love and respect simply for being ourselves. No performance. No exchange. But when it comes to money, many of us carry a very different belief. We feel guilty receiving money without having to do somethi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The family Court scales are not even.
Australia's Family Court system, originally established to fairly and impartially resolve familial disputes, is facing growing public backlash over what many see as systemic misconduct, ethical breaches, and gender bias. Despite its purpose of upholding the best interests of children and families, many parents, particularly fathers, report feeling betrayed by a system that seems more adversarial than just, more drawn out than resolution-focused, and more concerned with techni
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children The sad truth is, so many parents are left fighting alone just to be in their children’s lives. Yes, friends might check in. Family may offer a shoulder to cry on. But when the weight of the family court system bears down — when false accusations arise, when parenting time is restricted, when you're misjudged by systems that should protect you, it often feels like you are the only one standing in the ring. And it’s lonely. Paren
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Understanding Parental Alienation
The Terminator Alienator As we explore what parental alienation truly is, I urge you to reflect on your own behaviours in relation to what is written. If you genuinely wish to protect your children, please refrain from any form of parental alienation. It is difficult to accept, but even if you are not seeing your children and may not see them for some time, we must create an open door that stands in contrast to such manipulative and abusive behaviour. What one parent can in
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
Spying and Creative Story telling.
What Do They Have on Me? With such a strong desire to win at any cost, the malicious parent will search for anything, social media posts, interactions, or photos, that can be twisted to paint you in a bad light. You should expect surveillance and monitoring of your social media accounts. Some posts or stories may be downloaded and presented in court, with the malicious parent spinning their own narrative to suit their claims. By using audience-tracking apps, you may notice
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Gaslighting in Relationships
19 th century applause Before electric lighting, there was gaslighting. The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light , in which a husband dims the gas lights in their home when his wife is alone and then denies that the lights have changed when she points it out. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves making someone doubt their own reality. Have you ever had a person make a mistake or do something that hurt you, and when you brought it up, they
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Child and parent relationships restricted and controlled, The Gatekeeping parent.
The Ferryman Gatekeeping is the limiting and control of a parent and child relationship. The autonomy for a child to bond with another parent is often monitored and controlled as best suits the controlling parent. This can involve setting the times of any interaction or communication or, in extreme cases, limiting contact altogether. I see the gatekeeping parent as the Ferryman on the River Styx, unless you have the right coin for passage, you are not getting across. This g
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Lawyers Behaviour, a story of abuse, threats and intimidation.
Let’s start with the lawyers, because that’s probably the first thing you’ll think of after an un-amicable separation. And no, not all lawyers are bad people. Some genuinely have good hearts and want to help. But there are hidden truths within the system that people aren’t often told, especially when they’re in the thick of emotional pain and just trying to survive the process. If you’re representing yourself, expect to come up against intimidation and pressure from the oppos
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Quiet Evidence, Powerful Impact: Using Everyday Records to Stay Grounded Through False Allegations
One highly overlooked piece of evidence in these situations is your bank statement. Most people don’t realise that transactions at stores, cafes, cinemas, or parking meters often include the time, date, and location of the purchase. If you buy movie tickets, lunch, or fuel during the time you have your children, it quietly supports your timeline of events. In court, these small but consistent records can undermine vague or false allegations, especially when the accusing party
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
When Stress Walks into Work – The Corporate Cost of Deregulated Nervous Systems
Separation and divorce aren't just emotional breakups, they’re identity collapses. And in Western societies, where our lives are built around what we have, who we love, and the roles we play, the destruction of a family unit isn’t just personal loss, it’s structural collapse. It’s not the separation itself that tears people apart, it’s what the separation means . In countries like Australia, where justice systems drag on and favour procedure over humanity, separation can mean
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
The Hidden Cost of Self-Worth: Why Projects Fail Before They Begin
In the corporate world, failure is often attributed to poor planning, lack of funding, or misaligned strategies. But beneath the spreadsheets, KPIs, and timelines, there’s a more human truth we rarely speak about: Projects often fail because the person behind them doesn’t believe they’re worthy of success. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a team leader, or an employee quietly carrying the weight of personal trauma, this truth applies across industries and roles. Self-worth isn
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Validation That Matters: Creating Safety for Employees in Personal Crisis
Validation is not constant pats on the back or a quick, “Good job.” During personal trauma—especially high-conflict separation—chaos doesn’t just live in the individual’s outer world. It runs wild internally, in the mind and the nervous system. There’s a constant scanning for threats, a survival mode that rarely switches off. Employees in this state often don’t have the support to regulate their nervous system at home, and if the same is true at work, the stress compounds. Wi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Conflict Separation, Identity, and the Workplace
After a conflict separation, an individual—whether navigating it independently or through the family court system—may find that their internal world and their sense of self is deeply altered. Hypervigilance sets in. They begin to monitor how they see themselves based on an almost constant attempt to keep others happy. The family court system is one of the most brutal experiences a person can endure—second only, perhaps, to war, abuse, and similar traumas. The judgments, the t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Managers: When Pessimism Isn’t Resistance, It’s Protection
For managers, communicating new tasks with employees who are navigating emotional conflict may feel like running into a wall of pessimism. The constant focus on negatives, on threats, on what could go wrong, is not unusual for individuals searching for safety while their personal life is in turbulence. What looks like contention or disagreement is often not disagreement at all—it is a protection protocol. A nervous system on high alert. High-stressed and emotionally dysregula
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
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