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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Get Used to Uncertainty: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
I get that separation is a serious topic. Most people going through a conflict separation have a whole list of people telling them, “Do this,” “Do that,” “If you don’t do this, you’re screwed.” One of the worst things I have ever heard from a coach was the line: “You’re screwed. You need a great lawyer.” WTF Those words send shivers down your spine. They make you think there is no possible solution to the predicament you now find yourself in. They shut down the belief that an
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 193 min read
Training the Nervous System: Why New Strategies Matter After High-Conflict Separation
It’s going to be uncomfortable, like leaning over a sitting on herself and feeling that discomfort right up to your upper abdomen. BUT, working through our discomfort is where we actually grow. It’s where we become more grounded internally, more secure in our own ability to handle uncertainty, and where we develop new strategies that truly serve us. These are not strategies to manipulate an outcome. If you manipulate for outcome, you're still not developing strength in uncert
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 184 min read
The Game of Shadows – Malicious Tactics and False Allegations in Family Court
Family court is not always the place of justice and reason we hope it to be. When separation becomes high-conflict, the courtroom can quickly transform into a battlefield—not just for parenting time, but for character, reputation, and truth itself. In this chapter, we step into one of the most unsettling realities of high-conflict separation: malicious intent and the strategic use of false narratives. It is painful to acknowledge, but essential to understand—because if you ar
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Community as a Quiet Witness Against False Claims
One of the most distressing realities of high-conflict separation is how often false or exaggerated claims of abuse appear in affidavits. Whether used as a tactic to gain full custody or simply to damage your credibility, these allegations can be emotionally crushing and incredibly difficult to disprove, especially when there are no witnesses and your life has become isolated. It’s understandable that many people, especially after being hurt or betrayed, instinctively withdra
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children The sad truth is, so many parents are left fighting alone just to be in their children’s lives. Yes, friends might check in. Family may offer a shoulder to cry on. But when the weight of the family court system bears down — when false accusations arise, when parenting time is restricted, when you're misjudged by systems that should protect you, it often feels like you are the only one standing in the ring. And it’s lonely. Paren
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Understanding Parental Alienation
The Terminator Alienator As we explore what parental alienation truly is, I urge you to reflect on your own behaviours in relation to what is written. If you genuinely wish to protect your children, please refrain from any form of parental alienation. It is difficult to accept, but even if you are not seeing your children and may not see them for some time, we must create an open door that stands in contrast to such manipulative and abusive behaviour. What one parent can in
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
Gaslighting in Relationships
19 th century applause Before electric lighting, there was gaslighting. The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light , in which a husband dims the gas lights in their home when his wife is alone and then denies that the lights have changed when she points it out. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves making someone doubt their own reality. Have you ever had a person make a mistake or do something that hurt you, and when you brought it up, they
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Why Employees Under Personal Stress Make Choices That Seem Irrational, and What Workplaces Can Do About It
Imagine someone choosing $50 over $100, it seems illogical. Everyone would choose the higher amount. But context changes everything. If placed in high stress, after a separation, court battle, or loss of children's contact, delayed gratification often takes a backseat to immediate emotional ease. People struggling emotionally may choose what feels instantly comforting, even if it costs more in the long run. Without support, patience dwindles. Advice from peers, well-meaning o
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Navigating Family Court Stress in the Workplace: How Businesses Can Support Employees in Survival Mode
For corporate employees, navigating the family court system is a journey filled with confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The sheer complexity of the process—and the reality that much of the legislation in place is not always upheld—creates a situation that logic alone cannot easily resolve. For employers, having a staff member caught in this long and unpredictable process can be equally challenging. Family law matters are rarely quick; they oft
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Conflict Separation, Identity, and the Workplace
After a conflict separation, an individual—whether navigating it independently or through the family court system—may find that their internal world and their sense of self is deeply altered. Hypervigilance sets in. They begin to monitor how they see themselves based on an almost constant attempt to keep others happy. The family court system is one of the most brutal experiences a person can endure—second only, perhaps, to war, abuse, and similar traumas. The judgments, the t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Employee’s Roller Coaster of Emotions
For employees navigating separation, especially those chained to the family court system. The ups and downs of emotions can be hard to predict or navigate. Sudden sick leave or mental health leave may become frequent, not because the employee is trying to sabotage the business or hates their position, but because they need some control while they process the chaos in their personal life. Businesses that demand too much from employees, with little to no culture or sense of bel
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Test We Receive to Grow
It is so easy to form the perspective that we just need to remove the dislikes we saw in our previous relationship, the things that made us angry, the personalities that set us off, and the situations that evolved that we’d say provoked us to behave the way we did. We look to the external world to blame for why we are the way we are. We hand over emotional authority to what happens outside of us. But what if these are actually tests? What if they’re opportunities to reveal t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
How Much Resilience Should Our Children Endure?
So many people say that children are resilient. And while this is true to some extent, it does not mean they will automatically develop healthy emotional coping strategies. In fact, when a child is constantly placed in an environment where they must adapt to pain, unpredictability, or emotional instability, their coping strategies may become their character. But are those coping strategies healthy, or are they survival mechanisms? What if what we often call resilience is actu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Emotional Outbursts and the Safety to Feel
It can be confronting when your child begins to unravel emotionally after separation. Maybe it starts small: irritability, resistance, mood swings. But then comes the outburst—in public, at school, in a restaurant. A wave of emotion that catches you off guard, and with it, an urge to control, to shut it down quickly. Often, it seems less about the child's behaviour and more about controlling the perception of others: What will people think of my parenting? What does this say
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
You Do Not Need to Know, Child interrogations don't bring clarity.
You may feel that you have to know what is going on in the other parent’s home and with your child, but you don’t. The urge to question your child after contact or visitation is common—often driven by a deep desire to protect or prepare. But beneath this surface lies something more primal: the attempt to soothe your own nervous system. The feeling of not knowing can feel intolerable in a high-conflict separation, and parents may turn to their child to fill in the blanks. But
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Tying children to our own personal image and why it often backfires.
Our children do not need to be like us. We may, at times, try to control our children’s behaviour in environments where we really should stay out of it. We may have a sense that our child’s behaviour is somehow a reflection of our own values, but this is not true. Let’s say our child is acting the clown at sports day (I have had this happen) and the other parent or yourself wants to tell them off or stop the behaviour. While this may seem like a logical and normal response to
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
Court ordered Child focused programmes
Programmes such as kids are first and other parenting programmes are what I think is one of the best courses for any parent ordered by the Family Court, simply because both parents are usually ordered to enrol in the training, it seems to be the only course that both parents actually have to enrol in, however, the coarse is not reported on, or evaluated other than the parent receiving a certificate of completion, a simple “tick the box” to please the court, while some parent
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Family Court, creating Trauma for children.
With so many parents, individuals, court employees, specialised and experts expressing dissatisfaction with the Family Court system it becomes increasingly clear that the issues within the system do not fall solely on the judges, lawyers and experts. While some may make grave errors and be swayed by personal biases and external influence, it appears more and more that the Family Court system is fundamentally broken. It is no longer serving those who seek its shelter and aid.
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
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