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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Get Used to Uncertainty: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
I get that separation is a serious topic. Most people going through a conflict separation have a whole list of people telling them, “Do this,” “Do that,” “If you don’t do this, you’re screwed.” One of the worst things I have ever heard from a coach was the line: “You’re screwed. You need a great lawyer.” WTF Those words send shivers down your spine. They make you think there is no possible solution to the predicament you now find yourself in. They shut down the belief that an
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 193 min read
The chess Board of Family Court.
I know it's hard to look at the positives during a high-conflict separation where your very character seems to be attacked. Or maybe you made some mistakes in your past that you’re not proud of, and now it feels like all your old history is being dragged back up again, no matter how much self-work you’ve done. I’m here to tell you that you’re not being judged for who you truly are by the other side during a conflict separation in the family court system. You’re hearing the na
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 174 min read
Why Traditional Therapy Fails People Navigating Separation — And Why Coaching Creates Real Change
The counselling and psychology space, as most people know it, is built around talk therapy. Session after session where the therapist asks the same question in a different sentence, trying to get you to see the problem through your own lens.But here’s the issue:This is one of the most brutally immoral approaches to real behavioural change. Why? Because the client comes in with the existing tools, the same internal reality, the same patterns of thinking that aren’t serving
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 164 min read
Aggression by Association – The Hidden Narrative of Character Attacks
In high-conflict separations, malicious parents will often go beyond the family unit to paint a broader picture of instability. One common tactic is to construct a narrative of aggression not just towards them, but towards others. This includes neighbours, friends, church members, coaches, family acquaintances, and even strangers in public settings. The goal here is clear: to establish a pattern of behaviour, one that suggests you're not just difficult with your former partne
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Game of Shadows – Malicious Tactics and False Allegations in Family Court
Family court is not always the place of justice and reason we hope it to be. When separation becomes high-conflict, the courtroom can quickly transform into a battlefield—not just for parenting time, but for character, reputation, and truth itself. In this chapter, we step into one of the most unsettling realities of high-conflict separation: malicious intent and the strategic use of false narratives. It is painful to acknowledge, but essential to understand—because if you ar
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The family Court scales are not even.
Australia's Family Court system, originally established to fairly and impartially resolve familial disputes, is facing growing public backlash over what many see as systemic misconduct, ethical breaches, and gender bias. Despite its purpose of upholding the best interests of children and families, many parents, particularly fathers, report feeling betrayed by a system that seems more adversarial than just, more drawn out than resolution-focused, and more concerned with techni
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children The sad truth is, so many parents are left fighting alone just to be in their children’s lives. Yes, friends might check in. Family may offer a shoulder to cry on. But when the weight of the family court system bears down — when false accusations arise, when parenting time is restricted, when you're misjudged by systems that should protect you, it often feels like you are the only one standing in the ring. And it’s lonely. Paren
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Quiet Evidence, Powerful Impact: Using Everyday Records to Stay Grounded Through False Allegations
One highly overlooked piece of evidence in these situations is your bank statement. Most people don’t realise that transactions at stores, cafes, cinemas, or parking meters often include the time, date, and location of the purchase. If you buy movie tickets, lunch, or fuel during the time you have your children, it quietly supports your timeline of events. In court, these small but consistent records can undermine vague or false allegations, especially when the accusing party
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
When Stress Walks into Work – The Corporate Cost of Deregulated Nervous Systems
Separation and divorce aren't just emotional breakups, they’re identity collapses. And in Western societies, where our lives are built around what we have, who we love, and the roles we play, the destruction of a family unit isn’t just personal loss, it’s structural collapse. It’s not the separation itself that tears people apart, it’s what the separation means . In countries like Australia, where justice systems drag on and favour procedure over humanity, separation can mean
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Why Employees Under Personal Stress Make Choices That Seem Irrational, and What Workplaces Can Do About It
Imagine someone choosing $50 over $100, it seems illogical. Everyone would choose the higher amount. But context changes everything. If placed in high stress, after a separation, court battle, or loss of children's contact, delayed gratification often takes a backseat to immediate emotional ease. People struggling emotionally may choose what feels instantly comforting, even if it costs more in the long run. Without support, patience dwindles. Advice from peers, well-meaning o
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Validation That Matters: Creating Safety for Employees in Personal Crisis
Validation is not constant pats on the back or a quick, “Good job.” During personal trauma—especially high-conflict separation—chaos doesn’t just live in the individual’s outer world. It runs wild internally, in the mind and the nervous system. There’s a constant scanning for threats, a survival mode that rarely switches off. Employees in this state often don’t have the support to regulate their nervous system at home, and if the same is true at work, the stress compounds. Wi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Dating, The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth, Fear of Rejection
The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth – Fear of Rejection I think we all have this feeling — the hesitation, the holding back — especially when we feel that our past experiences might define how someone sees us. People say they don’t care what others think, and maybe that’s true to a point. But that usually erodes pretty quickly when we meet someone new. When we start to feel something. When the chance to be seen comes along. It doesn’t always start like that. Sometimes we’re
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Settling for Stability While Ignoring Red Flags
I see this all the time, and I’ve felt it in myself. That drive for stability after separation, to rebuild, to feel safe again. It’s understandable. When you’ve been through something as intense as a high-conflict separation, you don’t just want love, you crave ground beneath your feet. So we meet someone who seems like they have it all together. Good job, good car, a nice life. It looks like everything we’ve been trying to rebuild on our own, already built in front of us. Bu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Test We Receive to Grow
It is so easy to form the perspective that we just need to remove the dislikes we saw in our previous relationship, the things that made us angry, the personalities that set us off, and the situations that evolved that we’d say provoked us to behave the way we did. We look to the external world to blame for why we are the way we are. We hand over emotional authority to what happens outside of us. But what if these are actually tests? What if they’re opportunities to reveal t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
The Chase of a Partner
As we start to date again, especially after heartache or separation, it’s not uncommon to feel that pull — that yearning for connection. Some of us turn inwards out of fear, scared to be seen again. Some of us reach out, longing for the warmth of another. And every now and then, we go on a date, have a coffee, enjoy a walk — and something unexpected happens: genuine interest. Not just ours, but theirs too. And that’s when it hits. That moment where reality collides with desir
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
You Weren’t Robbed, They Were Just Passing Through
It’s a strange feeling, that hollow ache when someone you’ve just started connecting with suddenly disappears. A date, a spark, a few days or weeks of what felt like potential, gone. Maybe they ghosted, maybe they said it wasn’t right, maybe they just drifted away without much explanation. And somehow, we’re left with more than sadness, we’re left grieving a vision. Not just the person, but what we thought they could be for us . We don’t often fall in love with who they are,
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Dating After Hurt — Saying the Truth Without Losing Yourself
I don’t want you to feel bad about holding onto your truth when you meet someone you genuinely feel a connection with. Sometimes we meet someone at the gym, while out for coffee, doing the usual routine, and there’s this moment where you finally get the courage to say hi. You feel a spark. Maybe you swap numbers, grab a coffee, laugh a little, feel that familiar feeling of being seen again. But then there’s that gut pull — that internal voice that says, “You need to tell them
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
How Much Resilience Should Our Children Endure?
So many people say that children are resilient. And while this is true to some extent, it does not mean they will automatically develop healthy emotional coping strategies. In fact, when a child is constantly placed in an environment where they must adapt to pain, unpredictability, or emotional instability, their coping strategies may become their character. But are those coping strategies healthy, or are they survival mechanisms? What if what we often call resilience is actu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
A safe place to call home, Why Stability Matters More Than You Think.
I can understand, as a father, being the one who has to leave the family home. All too often, fathers are leaving their home or being kicked out and having to look for their own accommodation. But let us focus here on how our children feel in our home or place of residence. Whether this be a rental, your own house, or even if they are staying with their mother and you only get to see them on the weekend. If you cannot see your children at this time, it is hard to have any con
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
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