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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Get Used to Uncertainty: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
I get that separation is a serious topic. Most people going through a conflict separation have a whole list of people telling them, “Do this,” “Do that,” “If you don’t do this, you’re screwed.” One of the worst things I have ever heard from a coach was the line: “You’re screwed. You need a great lawyer.” WTF Those words send shivers down your spine. They make you think there is no possible solution to the predicament you now find yourself in. They shut down the belief that an
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 193 min read
The chess Board of Family Court.
I know it's hard to look at the positives during a high-conflict separation where your very character seems to be attacked. Or maybe you made some mistakes in your past that you’re not proud of, and now it feels like all your old history is being dragged back up again, no matter how much self-work you’ve done. I’m here to tell you that you’re not being judged for who you truly are by the other side during a conflict separation in the family court system. You’re hearing the na
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 174 min read
Aggression by Association – The Hidden Narrative of Character Attacks
In high-conflict separations, malicious parents will often go beyond the family unit to paint a broader picture of instability. One common tactic is to construct a narrative of aggression not just towards them, but towards others. This includes neighbours, friends, church members, coaches, family acquaintances, and even strangers in public settings. The goal here is clear: to establish a pattern of behaviour, one that suggests you're not just difficult with your former partne
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Game of Shadows – Malicious Tactics and False Allegations in Family Court
Family court is not always the place of justice and reason we hope it to be. When separation becomes high-conflict, the courtroom can quickly transform into a battlefield—not just for parenting time, but for character, reputation, and truth itself. In this chapter, we step into one of the most unsettling realities of high-conflict separation: malicious intent and the strategic use of false narratives. It is painful to acknowledge, but essential to understand—because if you ar
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Community as a Quiet Witness Against False Claims
One of the most distressing realities of high-conflict separation is how often false or exaggerated claims of abuse appear in affidavits. Whether used as a tactic to gain full custody or simply to damage your credibility, these allegations can be emotionally crushing and incredibly difficult to disprove, especially when there are no witnesses and your life has become isolated. It’s understandable that many people, especially after being hurt or betrayed, instinctively withdra
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
How to handle seeing your child at a Child Contact Centre
If you are currently not seeing your children and in Family Court there is a good chance that the only way to see your children will be in a contact centre. The frustrating part about the contact centre is not the location or environment but the wait times to get in, some intakes taking over ten weeks from registration where both parents must register prior to any enrolment. If the other parent is not willing to autonomously enrol a child in the contact centre this will be le
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
The family Court scales are not even.
Australia's Family Court system, originally established to fairly and impartially resolve familial disputes, is facing growing public backlash over what many see as systemic misconduct, ethical breaches, and gender bias. Despite its purpose of upholding the best interests of children and families, many parents, particularly fathers, report feeling betrayed by a system that seems more adversarial than just, more drawn out than resolution-focused, and more concerned with techni
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Court expert interviews. Don't play into emotional triggers
I’ve been told stories that have left me genuinely shocked at the conduct of some court-appointed experts, despite their responsibility to uphold a professional code of conduct. It's been reported that bias—whether conscious or not—can sometimes be present in their assessments. I heard of one situation where a parent received completely contradictory reports from two different experts: one with extensive trauma and child abuse training, and the other with a more general backg
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Navigating Family Court Stress in the Workplace: How Businesses Can Support Employees in Survival Mode
For corporate employees, navigating the family court system is a journey filled with confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The sheer complexity of the process—and the reality that much of the legislation in place is not always upheld—creates a situation that logic alone cannot easily resolve. For employers, having a staff member caught in this long and unpredictable process can be equally challenging. Family law matters are rarely quick; they oft
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Court ordered Child focused programmes
Programmes such as kids are first and other parenting programmes are what I think is one of the best courses for any parent ordered by the Family Court, simply because both parents are usually ordered to enrol in the training, it seems to be the only course that both parents actually have to enrol in, however, the coarse is not reported on, or evaluated other than the parent receiving a certificate of completion, a simple “tick the box” to please the court, while some parent
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Family Court, creating Trauma for children.
With so many parents, individuals, court employees, specialised and experts expressing dissatisfaction with the Family Court system it becomes increasingly clear that the issues within the system do not fall solely on the judges, lawyers and experts. While some may make grave errors and be swayed by personal biases and external influence, it appears more and more that the Family Court system is fundamentally broken. It is no longer serving those who seek its shelter and aid.
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Emotional Regulation Through Movement: More Than Just “Go Exercise”
So, you’ve heard it all before. “Get off your ass and exercise, it’s good for you.” They all say it. You already know. But honestly, if you’ve ever tried to lift weights at the gym after not seeing your children for a week or more, it can feel like everything is pointless. That emotional lasso wrapped tight around your chest just doesn’t want to loosen. Here’s the thing—just like doing a job you hate, forcing yourself to do something you don’t enjoy, even if there’s a financ
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Blocks We Build After High-Conflict Separation and Relationship Trauma
The mental blocks we form after high-conflict separation and relationship trauma often go unseen — sometimes for years. They are not always obvious. Most lawyers, therapists, counsellors, even those who work day in and day out through the family court system, miss these deeper wounds — wounds that become so intertwined into our minds, our bodies, and our nervous systems, that they start to feel like a part of us. They sink in like parasites, embedding themselves into how we t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 55 min read
Co-Regulating Emotions in Intimate Relationships
Babies are not born with a fully formed sense of self. In the earliest stages of life, there is no distinction between "me" and "you." They perceive themselves as one with their caregiver and their environment. It is only through time, repetition, and emotional mirroring that a child begins to recognize their individuality. Through this co-regulation with a nurturing adult, a baby learns to soothe, to feel safe, and eventually to develop a separate and stable sense of self. B
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Roles We Play – Emotional Survival and Patterned Behaviour
From the moment we are born, we begin to learn how to get our emotional needs met. As children, we instinctively observe and remember: What behaviour brings comfort? What expression gets us picked up? What words make someone listen? Whether it’s a cry, a tantrum, a silent withdrawal, or a charming smile, these responses begin to shape the strategies we carry into adulthood. A child who throws a tantrum and gets the toy learns that heightened emotion brings reward. A child who
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 43 min read
Regret Over Reaction, Understanding Guilt, Shame, and Misalignment
Guilt and shame are heavy. They creep in after we’ve acted in a way that doesn’t sit right with us, after we’ve raised our voice, pushed someone away, said something we wish we hadn’t. These emotions often hit hard in relationships, especially when we're under pressure or already stretched thin. But here’s something worth sitting with: those behaviours might feel natural in the moment, but they’re not random. They come from somewhere deep, patterns, conditioning, survival res
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 44 min read
Food, Mood, and the Nervous System: What You Eat Shapes How You Feel and set of your triggers.
When navigating prolonged stress, especially in the context of high-conflict separation, it’s easy to overlook how much your diet influences your emotional and physiological resilience. But the nervous system doesn’t operate in isolation. It’s deeply connected to your gut, your hormones, your blood sugar levels, and your daily nutritional inputs. In high-stress environments, the right foods can support calm and clarity, while the wrong ones can amplify anxiety, worsen brain f
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 47 min read
What Happens in the Body When the Sympathetic Nervous System Is Activated
When you're under high stress, especially the kind that comes with high-conflict separation, the sympathetic nervous system shifts your body into a state of survival. It’s like a silent alarm system going off inside you, designed to keep you alive in the face of perceived danger. The system tightens, contracts, and reallocates your body’s resources to prepare you for one of four survival strategies: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. In this state, the brain signals the adrenal
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 42 min read
The Hidden Pain of Parents in the Family Court System
The pain that fathers experience through the family court system is devastating to witness. Many are alienated from their children, forced into parenting programs, and left defending against false or exaggerated allegations. On top of this, they shoulder the financial weight of defending themselves, paying for compulsory courses, legal fees, and ongoing child support for a child they may not even be allowed to see. Meanwhile, the court process can drag on for years, eroding t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 42 min read
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