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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Generational Behaviour
Here is a biological truth we seem to always forget: generational behaviour either gets continued or it gets changed. It’s literally a choice. The same strategies used for fulfilling needs or protecting ourselves are often the same or very similar to those used by our parents, and their parents before them. We like to think we are making independent decisions, but most of what we do automatically comes from what was modelled before we even had the awareness to question it. Wh
Andrew Jaensch
4 days ago2 min read
The Father Duck and the Forgotten Masculine
Today I was travelling through Ashton, like I do most mornings after the gym. The Adelaide Hills, clean, fresh air, that sharp kind that wakes your lungs up. It was a beautiful day with a bit of rain hanging around, those light showers that make everything smell new again. As I came around the twisting roads, I saw two adult ducks crossing with their ducklings. I slowed right down. And in that moment, something simple, something primal unfolded. The mother duck held back, kee
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 223 min read
Get Used to Uncertainty: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
I get that separation is a serious topic. Most people going through a conflict separation have a whole list of people telling them, “Do this,” “Do that,” “If you don’t do this, you’re screwed.” One of the worst things I have ever heard from a coach was the line: “You’re screwed. You need a great lawyer.” WTF Those words send shivers down your spine. They make you think there is no possible solution to the predicament you now find yourself in. They shut down the belief that an
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 193 min read
Training the Nervous System: Why New Strategies Matter After High-Conflict Separation
It’s going to be uncomfortable, like leaning over a sitting on herself and feeling that discomfort right up to your upper abdomen. BUT, working through our discomfort is where we actually grow. It’s where we become more grounded internally, more secure in our own ability to handle uncertainty, and where we develop new strategies that truly serve us. These are not strategies to manipulate an outcome. If you manipulate for outcome, you're still not developing strength in uncert
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 184 min read
Break the Loop: A Fast Way to Calm Fear-Based Thinking After Separation
For those repeating the same fear-based thoughts after separation, stuck in negative self-talk and anxiety loops, I want to give you a very fast way to bring your mind back into your body and the present moment. We can talk about getting out in nature, box breathing, yoga breathing, vocalising, or writing your thoughts down. All of those are great. But in the early stages, when you’re trying to solve a problem you’ve never faced before, with no memory or reference point to gu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 102 min read
The Solution Isn’t in the Problem
At times, it’s worth looking at our mistakes and learning from them, and most therapists will have you sit there in the past, ruminating over and over on what went wrong, to somehow learn everything that can be learnt and to unpack every detail. But the solutions are rarely found in the problem. It’s everything that the problem is not where the solution can be found, where creativity comes from, and where the mind awakens to receive answers. The solution to the problem or sad
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 84 min read
Money, Worth, and Receiving After Separation
Part 1: When Money and Love Feel the Same Many of us are working to heal the belief that we have to earn love. We used to think we had to be perfect, work hard, please others, or shape ourselves into what they needed just to be loved. But healing means learning we can receive love and respect simply for being ourselves. No performance. No exchange. But when it comes to money, many of us carry a very different belief. We feel guilty receiving money without having to do somethi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
The Price of Survival: How Financial Stress Shapes Our Reactions, Relationships, and Recovery
Financial stress isn’t just about numbers in a bank account—it’s about survival. When money feels scarce or insecure, our nervous system shifts into a state of high alert, preparing for perceived danger. In this state, commonly referred to as fight, flight, or freeze, our brain prioritises immediate safety over long-term strategy, logic, or compassion. This is why money problems often lead to outbursts, blame, avoidance, or emotional detachment, not because people are bad or
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Rebuilding Your Relationship with Money After High-Conflict Separation
For many individuals who’ve been through high-conflict separation and the family court process, money stops feeling like a tool and starts feeling like a threat. They become afraid of wealth — afraid that if they build it again, it will be taken from them. Afraid that any financial success will just end up being spent on protecting themselves or fighting for their relationship with their children. Here’s where the confusion lies:We start to act and feel as though money itself
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Why Posting on Social Media is a Dangerous Trap
One of the most common mistakes made during a high-conflict separation is venting on social media. When emotions are running high and you feel misunderstood or attacked, it is natural to want to “set the record straight.” You may feel the urge to tell the world what your former partner is doing, how unfair things are, or how you’ve been wronged. In the moment, it can feel like a release, like a way of reclaiming your story. But posting on social media about your partner—in an
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Aggression by Association – The Hidden Narrative of Character Attacks
In high-conflict separations, malicious parents will often go beyond the family unit to paint a broader picture of instability. One common tactic is to construct a narrative of aggression not just towards them, but towards others. This includes neighbours, friends, church members, coaches, family acquaintances, and even strangers in public settings. The goal here is clear: to establish a pattern of behaviour, one that suggests you're not just difficult with your former partne
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Game of Shadows – Malicious Tactics and False Allegations in Family Court
Family court is not always the place of justice and reason we hope it to be. When separation becomes high-conflict, the courtroom can quickly transform into a battlefield—not just for parenting time, but for character, reputation, and truth itself. In this chapter, we step into one of the most unsettling realities of high-conflict separation: malicious intent and the strategic use of false narratives. It is painful to acknowledge, but essential to understand—because if you ar
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Community as a Quiet Witness Against False Claims
One of the most distressing realities of high-conflict separation is how often false or exaggerated claims of abuse appear in affidavits. Whether used as a tactic to gain full custody or simply to damage your credibility, these allegations can be emotionally crushing and incredibly difficult to disprove, especially when there are no witnesses and your life has become isolated. It’s understandable that many people, especially after being hurt or betrayed, instinctively withdra
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
How to handle seeing your child at a Child Contact Centre
If you are currently not seeing your children and in Family Court there is a good chance that the only way to see your children will be in a contact centre. The frustrating part about the contact centre is not the location or environment but the wait times to get in, some intakes taking over ten weeks from registration where both parents must register prior to any enrolment. If the other parent is not willing to autonomously enrol a child in the contact centre this will be le
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
The family Court scales are not even.
Australia's Family Court system, originally established to fairly and impartially resolve familial disputes, is facing growing public backlash over what many see as systemic misconduct, ethical breaches, and gender bias. Despite its purpose of upholding the best interests of children and families, many parents, particularly fathers, report feeling betrayed by a system that seems more adversarial than just, more drawn out than resolution-focused, and more concerned with techni
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children The sad truth is, so many parents are left fighting alone just to be in their children’s lives. Yes, friends might check in. Family may offer a shoulder to cry on. But when the weight of the family court system bears down — when false accusations arise, when parenting time is restricted, when you're misjudged by systems that should protect you, it often feels like you are the only one standing in the ring. And it’s lonely. Paren
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Spying and Creative Story telling.
What Do They Have on Me? With such a strong desire to win at any cost, the malicious parent will search for anything, social media posts, interactions, or photos, that can be twisted to paint you in a bad light. You should expect surveillance and monitoring of your social media accounts. Some posts or stories may be downloaded and presented in court, with the malicious parent spinning their own narrative to suit their claims. By using audience-tracking apps, you may notice
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Gaslighting in Relationships
19 th century applause Before electric lighting, there was gaslighting. The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light , in which a husband dims the gas lights in their home when his wife is alone and then denies that the lights have changed when she points it out. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves making someone doubt their own reality. Have you ever had a person make a mistake or do something that hurt you, and when you brought it up, they
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Child and parent relationships restricted and controlled, The Gatekeeping parent.
The Ferryman Gatekeeping is the limiting and control of a parent and child relationship. The autonomy for a child to bond with another parent is often monitored and controlled as best suits the controlling parent. This can involve setting the times of any interaction or communication or, in extreme cases, limiting contact altogether. I see the gatekeeping parent as the Ferryman on the River Styx, unless you have the right coin for passage, you are not getting across. This g
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
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