We may have lost ourselves in our past relationship. Our emotions never seemed to be accepted, told we were overreacting, that we didn’t understand. Our perspectives and perceptions were challenged, told they were wrong. Our opinions no longer seemed to matter. The direction we once wanted to go slowly disappeared.
The compass that once pointed to our North Star no longer seemed to give any clear direction.
Over time, we learned not to give an opinion, to remain silent. It never seemed to matter in the past, so why now? We learned the false belief that what we truly want doesn’t matter, and so we stop dreaming. Instead, we look for validation that our choices are correct. We put someone’s belief about us above our own self-worth.
But as we look back, we can see the twisting road we travelled, a road that led us nowhere we actually wanted to go. Our intuition was screaming through our nervous system the whole time, a body and mind living in utter incongruence.
As we realign after separation, we discover a current reality that maybe we never wanted to be in. And when we meet someone who tells us what we feel and think matters, we feel the shock to our nervous system, an unfamiliarity of someone mirroring an internal voice that has been shut down for so long.
It’s a reconnection to self.
It’s not that our friends and family never told us the same things. But when it comes from someone who truly sees us, who says, "It’s okay to be you, whether I am here or not," it feels like a stable reassurance.
It doesn’t feel like a tactic. It doesn’t feel like something read from a book. It’s real.
And for a nervous system that doesn’t know what to do when something isn’t a threat, it can feel almost too accepting. Too unfazed by what it sees.
I want to tell you that everything you are feeling — the ups and downs, the emotions, the trusting again, the reconnection to self. It takes time.
This isn’t about resisting and rejecting everything you went through to make sure it never happens again. That’s still fighting.
This is about coming home.
It’s just a season, a moment in time, no matter your age or stage in life. It is perfectly okay to be you. The world may judge, but do not judge yourself for being human.