Disclaimer

The information provided in this coaching block and guide is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as legal advice. Every separation and legal matter is unique, and it is your responsibility to seek advice from a qualified legal professional who is familiar with the laws in your specific state, territory, or country.

If you currently have court orders in place, it is essential that you understand and comply with those orders. Some actions discussed in this guide may not be permitted under existing legal agreements, and following them without appropriate legal guidance could have serious consequences.

Please consult with a lawyer or legal professional before acting on any information provided in this guide. Conflict Separation Coaching does not provide legal representation or legal advice, and we assume no liability for actions taken based on the content provided.

The information provided in this coaching block and guide is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or nutritional advice. This content is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition.

Readers are strongly encouraged to seek individual advice from qualified professionals—such as doctors, psychologists, or registered dietitians—regarding their specific health, mental wellbeing, or dietary needs. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your nutrition, lifestyle, or treatment plan.

Conflict Separation Coaching assumes no responsibility for the outcomes of choices made based on this guide

What's inside

·      

·       4 x 1-hour weekly coaching calls (Zoom) Optional addition

·       Weekly check-ins for emotional grounding Optional addition

·       A downloadable PDF guide with reflective prompts, exercises, and practices, 103pg

·       Ongoing emotional support and clear, practical strategies Optional addition

Week 1: Stabilising in the Storm

·       What is high-conflict separation?

·       Immediate steps to put in place: communication, record keeping, and boundaries

·       Nervous system 101: understanding your stress response

·       Grounding practices: sleep, food, breath, and movement routines

Goal: Begin to feel more in control of your inner world, even when everything around you feels chaotic.

Week 2: Emotions & Control

·       Identifying emotions under stress: what are you really feeling?

·       What we can and cannot control

·       What we’ve been trying to control—and why it’s not working

·       Creating emotional space without judgment

Goal: Start shifting out of emotional overwhelm and into conscious self-awareness.

Week 3: Triggers, Attachments, and Letting Go

·       Attachment styles and how they influence separation dynamics

·       Recognising your emotional triggers and unmet needs

·       Identifying what’s no longer serving you

·       Beginning the process of releasing control and guilt

Goal: Reduce reactivity by recognising old patterns and understanding where they come from.

Week 4: A New Perspective

·       Seeing your situation—and yourself—with fresh eyes

·       Understanding how your behaviour impacts your children

·       Regulating for connection, not control

·       Committing to small actions that reflect your values

Goal: Develop emotional leadership—for yourself and your children.

✅ How false allegations are used as legal strategy—and how to prepare
✅ Why staying regulated is your most powerful defence in court
✅ How to build a positive behavioural record through calm consistency
✅ Documentation techniques that support your credibility without adding conflict
✅ Why your nervous system is your strongest asset—and how to protect it
✅ Proactive steps to prevent accusations around drugs, alcohol, or mental health
✅ How to use evidence (not emotion) to challenge malicious tactics
✅ The power of silent presence, routine, and connection in protecting your child

This isn’t about revenge. It’s about resilience.

Your role isn’t to fight fire with fire—it’s to become unshakeable in your truth. Courts eventually see through tactics. But only if you remain calm, clear, and child-focused.

Whether you’re just beginning your legal journey or already deep in the storm, this guide will help you reclaim control over your side of the story—and become the parent your child can count on.

Uncovering the Truth – Personally Investigating False Allegations Through Freedom of Information

One of the most shocking moments in high-conflict separation is discovering that your former partner may have been reporting you—quietly and consistently—for months or even years. Many parents assume that if an allegation doesn’t lead to a formal investigation, then it was either never made or dismissed and forgotten.

But here’s the unsettling truth: not all reports result in an investigation, and many are recorded and stored without your knowledge.

Child protection agencies, police, and mandatory reporters (such as teachers, doctors, or child psychologists) keep internal records of complaints—even those that are deemed "unsubstantiated" or "not warranting further action." And while these reports might not lead to a formal case, their accumulation over time can still damage your credibility, especially if you are unaware of them and unprepared to address the implications.

What You’ll Receive:

·       4 x 1-hour weekly coaching calls (Zoom) Optional addition

·       Weekly check-ins for emotional grounding Optional addition

·       A downloadable PDF guide with reflective prompts, exercises, and practices, pg35

·       Ongoing emotional support and clear, practical strategies Optional addition

1: Gaslighting and the War on Your Reality
Understand how gaslighting impacts your nervous system and self-trust. Learn strategies to stay grounded in your truth—even when others attempt to reshape your narrative.

2: Your Emotional Identity and Self-Worth
Reclaim who you are beyond the relationship. Build a sense of identity that isn’t shaped by other people’s approval, rejection, or court reports.

3: Court Bias and Staying Regulated Under Scrutiny
Learn how to present yourself calmly and clearly in court settings—even in the face of bias, accusations, or false narratives. Practice response vs. reaction.

4: Nervous System Resilience Through Food, Sleep & Habits
Explore how nutrition, hydration, and rest affect your emotional capacity. Build practical daily rituals that regulate your internal world from the inside out.

Week 6: Co-Parenting & Child-Centred Decision Making

1: Letting Go of the Need to Know
Learn why interrogating your children after visits harms them and weakens your connection. Reframe your role as a safe, steady presence—not an investigator.

2: Healthy Boundaries in Co-Parenting
Define what you will and won’t tolerate—not just for your own wellbeing but to model emotional boundaries for your children. Understand boundary-setting as protection, not punishment.

3: Empowering Children Through Voice and Choice
Help your children feel safe and seen by allowing them age-appropriate choice, expression, and emotional safety without adult projection.

4: Emotional Triggers in the Parenting Dynamic
Unpack your own emotional triggers when parenting alone or managing co-parenting conflict. Develop pause-and-respond skills to avoid repeating old cycles.

1: Gaslighting and the War on Your Reality

Understand how gaslighting impacts your nervous system and self-trust. Learn strategies to stay grounded in your truth—even when others attempt to reshape your narrative.

Before electric lighting, there was gaslighting.

The term gaslighting comes from the old play Gas Light, in which a man dims the lights in the house while his wife is alone, then denies it when she notices. It’s not just about manipulation—it’s about making someone question their own perception of reality. And when it happens during separation or in the family court system, it can feel like you're being pulled into a psychological war.

If you've ever brought up something hurtful or concerning, only to have it twisted back onto you—if you’ve ever shown evidence, only to be told your perception is wrong—you’ve experienced gaslighting. And if you’ve started to doubt your memory, your intentions, your very self, then it’s already taken a toll on your nervous system.

Why This Module Matters

Gaslighting isn’t just an emotional manipulation tactic—it’s a direct attack on your nervous system. It sends your brain into survival mode, constantly questioning whether it’s safe to trust your own thoughts. That persistent uncertainty erodes confidence, emotional stability, and decision-making capacity—especially in environments where others are trying to discredit or control you.

In high-conflict separation, gaslighting doesn’t only come from ex-partners. It can come from professionals—lawyers, social workers, even court-appointed experts—who reframe your actions, redefine your words, or question your emotional responses.

This module is about reclaiming your centre. It’s about recognising gaslighting when it happens, reducing its impact on your body and mind, and learning how to stay grounded in your own truth, even when others try to twist it.

What Gaslighting Looks Like

• You present facts, evidence, or messages—and are told “that’s not what happened.”
• You explain how you felt—and are told you’re overreacting, too emotional, or unstable.
• You’re told what you meant or what you intended—by people who weren’t even present.
• Your emotions are treated as irrational, even when they’re appropriate.
• Professionals reframe or paraphrase your story in court reports—sometimes in ways that don’t reflect reality.

You begin to question yourself. You start thinking maybe you are the problem. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you need to prove yourself harder. You second-guess everything—from your parenting to your text messages.

This is how gaslighting chips away at your nervous system. It pushes you into a constant state of hyper-vigilance, trying to manage every detail so you’re not accused of something else. Your body stays in fight-or-flight, and over time, that exhaustion shows up in how you speak, how you respond, and how you're perceived.