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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Letting Go of Hatred After Separation
It’s interesting, the amount of hatred people hold for a former partner. But I’m here to tell you: you need to let it go. Why? Not just for yourself, but for your former partner, and for everyone connected to your life. If reality mirrors what we feel inside, then the hatred or desire to hurt another person only reflects that same energy back toward ourselves. We might feel jealous of someone, but that jealousy often reveals a deeper belief that we can’t have what they have.
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 9, 20252 min read
The Solution Isn’t in the Problem
At times, it’s worth looking at our mistakes and learning from them, and most therapists will have you sit there in the past, ruminating over and over on what went wrong, to somehow learn everything that can be learnt and to unpack every detail. But the solutions are rarely found in the problem. It’s everything that the problem is not where the solution can be found, where creativity comes from, and where the mind awakens to receive answers. The solution to the problem or sad
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 8, 20254 min read
Rebuilding Your Relationship with Money After High-Conflict Separation
For many individuals who’ve been through high-conflict separation and the family court process, money stops feeling like a tool and starts feeling like a threat. They become afraid of wealth — afraid that if they build it again, it will be taken from them. Afraid that any financial success will just end up being spent on protecting themselves or fighting for their relationship with their children. Here’s where the confusion lies:We start to act and feel as though money itself
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20252 min read
When Stress Walks into Work – The Corporate Cost of Deregulated Nervous Systems
Separation and divorce aren't just emotional breakups, they’re identity collapses. And in Western societies, where our lives are built around what we have, who we love, and the roles we play, the destruction of a family unit isn’t just personal loss, it’s structural collapse. It’s not the separation itself that tears people apart, it’s what the separation means . In countries like Australia, where justice systems drag on and favour procedure over humanity, separation can mean
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20254 min read
When the Workplace Becomes a Lifeline, or Another Battlefront
As much as employers desire consistent productivity from their team, there’s a harsh reality that can’t be ignored: an employee navigating a high-conflict separation, especially one involving family court battles, estrangement from children, or ongoing legal stress, is often running on fumes. They are not just fighting for emotional survival; they are fighting for financial survival too. Their job may be the only structure left standing, the only lifeline holding their world
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20253 min read
Why Employees Under Personal Stress Make Choices That Seem Irrational, and What Workplaces Can Do About It
Imagine someone choosing $50 over $100, it seems illogical. Everyone would choose the higher amount. But context changes everything. If placed in high stress, after a separation, court battle, or loss of children's contact, delayed gratification often takes a backseat to immediate emotional ease. People struggling emotionally may choose what feels instantly comforting, even if it costs more in the long run. Without support, patience dwindles. Advice from peers, well-meaning o
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20254 min read
Navigating Family Court Stress in the Workplace: How Businesses Can Support Employees in Survival Mode
For corporate employees, navigating the family court system is a journey filled with confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The sheer complexity of the process—and the reality that much of the legislation in place is not always upheld—creates a situation that logic alone cannot easily resolve. For employers, having a staff member caught in this long and unpredictable process can be equally challenging. Family law matters are rarely quick; they oft
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20252 min read
Validation That Matters: Creating Safety for Employees in Personal Crisis
Validation is not constant pats on the back or a quick, “Good job.” During personal trauma—especially high-conflict separation—chaos doesn’t just live in the individual’s outer world. It runs wild internally, in the mind and the nervous system. There’s a constant scanning for threats, a survival mode that rarely switches off. Employees in this state often don’t have the support to regulate their nervous system at home, and if the same is true at work, the stress compounds. Wi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20252 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20253 min read
When Silence Speaks Louder – Understanding Avoidant Behaviour After Separation
After a separation, particularly one marked by high conflict, the behaviour of an avoidant partner can feel cold, distant—even cruel. But behind the silence, the withdrawal, and the shutdown responses, there is often a far more complex truth. Avoidant individuals do not disconnect to punish. They disconnect to survive. To regulate. To protect themselves from overwhelm. Dr. Amir Levine, in his book Attached , explains that avoidant attachment develops in environments where em
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20252 min read
Dating, The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth, Fear of Rejection
The Holding Back of Telling Our Truth – Fear of Rejection I think we all have this feeling — the hesitation, the holding back — especially when we feel that our past experiences might define how someone sees us. People say they don’t care what others think, and maybe that’s true to a point. But that usually erodes pretty quickly when we meet someone new. When we start to feel something. When the chance to be seen comes along. It doesn’t always start like that. Sometimes we’re
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20253 min read
Settling for Stability While Ignoring Red Flags
I see this all the time, and I’ve felt it in myself. That drive for stability after separation, to rebuild, to feel safe again. It’s understandable. When you’ve been through something as intense as a high-conflict separation, you don’t just want love, you crave ground beneath your feet. So we meet someone who seems like they have it all together. Good job, good car, a nice life. It looks like everything we’ve been trying to rebuild on our own, already built in front of us. Bu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 6, 20252 min read
Dating After Hurt — Saying the Truth Without Losing Yourself
I don’t want you to feel bad about holding onto your truth when you meet someone you genuinely feel a connection with. Sometimes we meet someone at the gym, while out for coffee, doing the usual routine, and there’s this moment where you finally get the courage to say hi. You feel a spark. Maybe you swap numbers, grab a coffee, laugh a little, feel that familiar feeling of being seen again. But then there’s that gut pull — that internal voice that says, “You need to tell them
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20254 min read
How Much Resilience Should Our Children Endure?
So many people say that children are resilient. And while this is true to some extent, it does not mean they will automatically develop healthy emotional coping strategies. In fact, when a child is constantly placed in an environment where they must adapt to pain, unpredictability, or emotional instability, their coping strategies may become their character. But are those coping strategies healthy, or are they survival mechanisms? What if what we often call resilience is actu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20253 min read
A safe place to call home, Why Stability Matters More Than You Think.
I can understand, as a father, being the one who has to leave the family home. All too often, fathers are leaving their home or being kicked out and having to look for their own accommodation. But let us focus here on how our children feel in our home or place of residence. Whether this be a rental, your own house, or even if they are staying with their mother and you only get to see them on the weekend. If you cannot see your children at this time, it is hard to have any con
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20253 min read
Emotional Outbursts and the Safety to Feel
It can be confronting when your child begins to unravel emotionally after separation. Maybe it starts small: irritability, resistance, mood swings. But then comes the outburst—in public, at school, in a restaurant. A wave of emotion that catches you off guard, and with it, an urge to control, to shut it down quickly. Often, it seems less about the child's behaviour and more about controlling the perception of others: What will people think of my parenting? What does this say
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20252 min read
The Importance of Extended Relationships for a child
If your child has been withheld from you and you are going through a custody battle, then more than likely, you and your entire family are being prohibited from seeing your child or children. This behaviour—where one parent withholds a child—is one of the most painful experiences a parent and extended family can endure. One day you might be interacting with your children daily, and the next, they are gone, with legal proceedings becoming your only path forward. You may turn t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20253 min read
Tying children to our own personal image and why it often backfires.
Our children do not need to be like us. We may, at times, try to control our children’s behaviour in environments where we really should stay out of it. We may have a sense that our child’s behaviour is somehow a reflection of our own values, but this is not true. Let’s say our child is acting the clown at sports day (I have had this happen) and the other parent or yourself wants to tell them off or stop the behaviour. While this may seem like a logical and normal response to
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20254 min read
Family Court, creating Trauma for children.
With so many parents, individuals, court employees, specialised and experts expressing dissatisfaction with the Family Court system it becomes increasingly clear that the issues within the system do not fall solely on the judges, lawyers and experts. While some may make grave errors and be swayed by personal biases and external influence, it appears more and more that the Family Court system is fundamentally broken. It is no longer serving those who seek its shelter and aid.
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20253 min read
When Stress Silences Love: How High-Conflict Separation Shapes Parent–Child Bonds
High-conflict separation, especially when drawn out through the family court system, can be one of the most emotionally destabilising experiences a person can go through. If you already live with an anxious attachment style, this process may feel like confirmation of your deepest fears, of being abandoned, misunderstood, or rejected. When the future of your relationship with your child feels uncertain and you are being scrutinised at every turn, your nervous system can easily
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 5, 20252 min read
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