Emotional Regulation Through Movement: More Than Just “Go Exercise”
So, you’ve heard it all before. “Get off your ass and exercise, it’s good for you.” They all say it. You already know. But honestly, if you’ve ever tried to lift weights at the gym after not seeing your children for a week or more, it can feel like everything is pointless. That emotional lasso wrapped tight around your chest just doesn’t want to loosen.
Here’s the thing—just like doing a job you hate, forcing yourself to do something you don’t enjoy, even if there’s a financial or physical return, doesn’t lift you up—it drags you down. And the same goes for exercise. If we’re resisting the movement we choose, it actually becomes another stressor, not a remedy. So if you don’t feel like lifting weights, that’s okay. If you don’t want to hit pickleball with the old crew, that’s okay too.
The goal isn’t to punish yourself—it’s to move your body in a way that feels right for you. Something that gets your heart rate up, gets your joints moving, for at least 30 minutes. Join a HIIT class. I get it—you want to isolate. I totally get that. But joining a group training session might actually lift your spirits. Being surrounded by others, even if you don’t talk much, can help break that emotional fog. Who knows, maybe there’s a hot guy in the class. Or a good-looking girl. Who knows what the universe is bringing.
Now here’s what’s actually going on beneath the surface. Dr. Tara Swart, in her book The Source, shares research from the University of Texas showing that high-intensity training increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor—BDNF. This little molecule helps brain cells grow and repair. It regulates mood. It supports learning, memory, and focus. Low levels of BDNF are found in depression, bipolar, and even schizophrenia. Movement literally feeds your brain. It undoes the damage caused by high cortisol levels—the stress hormone that floods our system in conflict and separation. And you know what else? It helps you sleep.
When you haven’t been eating well, your sleep suffers. When you’re sleep-deprived, you’re more emotionally fragile. And when your body’s in fight-or-flight mode all the time, the last thing it needs is more internal chaos. Exercise is one of the easiest ways to start calming it all down.
I’m not asking you to run marathons. But I am asking you to lift more than your excuses and stop warming up the benches at the gym while scrolling through sad songs on your phone. You are better than that. I know you are—because you’re reading this book.
So get on the walker. Sit on the rower and pretend you’re part of the local rowing club. Go to REVL Fitness (shoutout to the team in South Australia). Join a local cycling group and ride up the hills at 6am while freezing your tits off—because you still haven’t bought a thermal jacket and there’s no pedalling on the way down. (Shoutout to Giant Cycling store too.) And if you want to try boxing, that’s cool too. One of my personal favourites was wrestling and ground game. Let me tell you—that is one tiring sport.
You see, emotional regulation isn’t just about mindset. It’s about creating the physical conditions where your mind canshift. Eating well, exercising, surrounding yourself with the right people—all of it plays a part. The reprogramming, the deeper healing, the rewiring of old beliefs and protection patterns—that takes time. But to even start that work, you’ve got to be in a regulated enough state to try.
So no, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about momentum. It’s about knowing you’ve got more in you, and sometimes the first step forward is just a sweaty one.
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