Why Posting on Social Media is a Dangerous Trap
One of the most common mistakes made during a high-conflict separation is venting on social media. When emotions are running high and you feel misunderstood or attacked, it is natural to want to “set the record straight.” You may feel the urge to tell the world what your former partner is doing, how unfair things are, or how you’ve been wronged. In the moment, it can feel like a release—like a way of reclaiming your story.
But posting on social media about your partner—in any circumstance—is a trap. It may feel good in the moment, but it will almost always come back to hurt you. No matter how justified you feel, the court will not see it that way.
When you post about your ex—whether directly or through subtle hints—it can easily be interpreted as damaging to their reputation, their safety, and even the children if they are in their care. The court is not interested in who was “right” in the relationship. It is interested in who is behaving as a mature, emotionally stable parent now. And unfortunately, a social media post gives your ex exactly what they need to twist your actions against you.
Even an offhand comment can be pulled out of context and presented in court. Worse still, social media posts, photos, and videos can be downloaded and entered as evidence in affidavits. It is one of the easiest forms of proof for a malicious parent to collect. Your posts may be screenshotted not just by your ex, but by their friends, family members—or even mutual acquaintances who may pass the information along. You won’t always know who is watching.
This also applies to immature behaviour on social media. You may not post about your partner directly, but if you’re posting photos of heavy drinking, partying, or acting out emotionally online, those images can be used to paint a negative picture of you as a parent. You may know that you are simply blowing off steam—but to the court, it may be framed as irresponsible, emotionally unstable, or unsafe behaviour.
I strongly suggest that during this period, you remove or lock down your social media profiles. Stop posting. Set your privacy settings as high as possible. If you do continue to use social media, make sure every post you share could be comfortably read aloud in court without damaging your case or your character. Assume that everything you post is being recorded. Because in many cases, it is.
Remember—it’s not just your former partner watching. Friends, family members, colleagues—sometimes even their lawyers—may monitor your accounts. Anything that can be used to discredit you will be.
In a high-conflict separation, you cannot afford to provide ammunition. Stay focused on your long-term goal: being the parent your children need. You will have your chance to speak your truth in the right setting, with the right support—not on a public feed.