top of page
Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
When the Past Trains the Mind to Fear Love: Hyper-vigilance, Control, and Healing After High-Conflict Relationships
In relationships marked by betrayal, gaslighting, infidelity, or emotional abuse, the nervous system learns something dangerous: that love and danger can exist in the same space.When we’ve been blamed, manipulated, or told that everything is our fault, our body doesn’t just remember, it begins to predict . When Safety Becomes Control After living in survival mode for too long, our system becomes wired to scan for threats. A delay in a text, a change in tone, a distant look, e
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 84 min read
Immediate Steps to Put in Place after separation: Communication, Records, and Readiness
This block is about preparation, not paranoia . It’s about giving you a stable foundation, emotionally, legally, and practically—before anything escalates. Think of these tools as your storm shelter: not something you want to use, but something you'll be incredibly grateful for if the weather turns. In high-conflict separation, especially when family court is involved, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about who is clear, consistent, and prepared . The legal system doesn’t kno
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Understanding Parental Alienation
The Terminator Alienator As we explore what parental alienation truly is, I urge you to reflect on your own behaviours in relation to what is written. If you genuinely wish to protect your children, please refrain from any form of parental alienation. It is difficult to accept, but even if you are not seeing your children and may not see them for some time, we must create an open door that stands in contrast to such manipulative and abusive behaviour. What one parent can in
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 66 min read
Spying and Creative Story telling.
What Do They Have on Me? With such a strong desire to win at any cost, the malicious parent will search for anything, social media posts, interactions, or photos, that can be twisted to paint you in a bad light. You should expect surveillance and monitoring of your social media accounts. Some posts or stories may be downloaded and presented in court, with the malicious parent spinning their own narrative to suit their claims. By using audience-tracking apps, you may notice
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Child and parent relationships restricted and controlled, The Gatekeeping parent.
The Ferryman Gatekeeping is the limiting and control of a parent and child relationship. The autonomy for a child to bond with another parent is often monitored and controlled as best suits the controlling parent. This can involve setting the times of any interaction or communication or, in extreme cases, limiting contact altogether. I see the gatekeeping parent as the Ferryman on the River Styx, unless you have the right coin for passage, you are not getting across. This g
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Breaking the Cycle of Financial Control: Healing the Fear Behind the Behaviour
If you were financially controlling in the relationship, it’s time to ask yourself: Why? What fear was driving this behaviour? Was it insecurity, a need for control, a fear of abandonment, or a belief that only you could ensure safety? Understanding this is not about self-judgement, it's about recognising patterns and breaking the cycle. Financial control is often rooted in a belief that money equals power, and power equals protection. But in reality, controlling a partner fi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Hidden Cost of Self-Worth: Why Projects Fail Before They Begin
In the corporate world, failure is often attributed to poor planning, lack of funding, or misaligned strategies. But beneath the spreadsheets, KPIs, and timelines, there’s a more human truth we rarely speak about: Projects often fail because the person behind them doesn’t believe they’re worthy of success. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a team leader, or an employee quietly carrying the weight of personal trauma, this truth applies across industries and roles. Self-worth isn
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Navigating Family Court Stress in the Workplace: How Businesses Can Support Employees in Survival Mode
For corporate employees, navigating the family court system is a journey filled with confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The sheer complexity of the process—and the reality that much of the legislation in place is not always upheld—creates a situation that logic alone cannot easily resolve. For employers, having a staff member caught in this long and unpredictable process can be equally challenging. Family law matters are rarely quick; they oft
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Validation That Matters: Creating Safety for Employees in Personal Crisis
Validation is not constant pats on the back or a quick, “Good job.” During personal trauma—especially high-conflict separation—chaos doesn’t just live in the individual’s outer world. It runs wild internally, in the mind and the nervous system. There’s a constant scanning for threats, a survival mode that rarely switches off. Employees in this state often don’t have the support to regulate their nervous system at home, and if the same is true at work, the stress compounds. Wi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Conflict Separation, Identity, and the Workplace
After a conflict separation, an individual—whether navigating it independently or through the family court system—may find that their internal world and their sense of self is deeply altered. Hypervigilance sets in. They begin to monitor how they see themselves based on an almost constant attempt to keep others happy. The family court system is one of the most brutal experiences a person can endure—second only, perhaps, to war, abuse, and similar traumas. The judgments, the t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Managers: When Pessimism Isn’t Resistance, It’s Protection
For managers, communicating new tasks with employees who are navigating emotional conflict may feel like running into a wall of pessimism. The constant focus on negatives, on threats, on what could go wrong, is not unusual for individuals searching for safety while their personal life is in turbulence. What looks like contention or disagreement is often not disagreement at all—it is a protection protocol. A nervous system on high alert. High-stressed and emotionally dysregula
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Wishing Others Would Change, And Why That Keeps Us Stuck
So many people sit in relationships feeling stuck. It’s the same person, same arguments, same frustrations—but we hold on, hoping something will shift. Some leave, thinking they’ll find someone “better,” only to end up in the same dynamic with a new face. Others pray that their partner will change, that the universe will finally deliver someone who matches their values, their vibe. As if there’s a shortage of people, or worse, as if it’s all about finding someone else to fill
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Test We Receive to Grow
It is so easy to form the perspective that we just need to remove the dislikes we saw in our previous relationship, the things that made us angry, the personalities that set us off, and the situations that evolved that we’d say provoked us to behave the way we did. We look to the external world to blame for why we are the way we are. We hand over emotional authority to what happens outside of us. But what if these are actually tests? What if they’re opportunities to reveal t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 62 min read
Dating After Hurt — Saying the Truth Without Losing Yourself
I don’t want you to feel bad about holding onto your truth when you meet someone you genuinely feel a connection with. Sometimes we meet someone at the gym, while out for coffee, doing the usual routine, and there’s this moment where you finally get the courage to say hi. You feel a spark. Maybe you swap numbers, grab a coffee, laugh a little, feel that familiar feeling of being seen again. But then there’s that gut pull — that internal voice that says, “You need to tell them
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
Learning to Trust Again
I know it’s hard to move into new genuine attraction, to let go of what feels like it protects us. We never want to experience the hurt we’ve been through before, so we protect ourselves. Sometimes we protect so much that we forget to experience the full impact of what could be possible. But it’s okay to feel this way, too. I want you to know that you are capable of rebuilding and of trusting again — knowing that if it doesn’t work out, it won’t hurt as much this time. And if
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
bottom of page