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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Wishing Others Would Change, And Why That Keeps Us Stuck
So many people sit in relationships feeling stuck. It’s the same person, same arguments, same frustrations—but we hold on, hoping something will shift. Some leave, thinking they’ll find someone “better,” only to end up in the same dynamic with a new face. Others pray that their partner will change, that the universe will finally deliver someone who matches their values, their vibe. As if there’s a shortage of people, or worse, as if it’s all about finding someone else to fill
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Chase of a Partner
As we start to date again, especially after heartache or separation, it’s not uncommon to feel that pull — that yearning for connection. Some of us turn inwards out of fear, scared to be seen again. Some of us reach out, longing for the warmth of another. And every now and then, we go on a date, have a coffee, enjoy a walk — and something unexpected happens: genuine interest. Not just ours, but theirs too. And that’s when it hits. That moment where reality collides with desir
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Choosing Fulfilment Over Familiarity: A New Path
You may be standing at a crossroad right now—torn between going back to the job you used to do, the one that paid the bills but never truly lit you up, or choosing a new path that feels more aligned with who you are becoming. After separation, trauma, or life upheaval, it’s natural to crave safety. To crave stability. You might think, “Maybe I should just go back to what I know.” But something feels different now. That old life, as familiar as it was, doesn’t quite fit anymor
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Search for Validation: Why We Struggle to Keep Moving After Separation
The Search for Validation: Why We Struggle to Keep Moving After Separation At some point—after the heartbreak, the longing, the endless tears—we decide it’s time to get our life back on track. We make that quiet commitment to change. To heal. To start again. But here’s the thing: if we focus too much on the result rather than the process, we often find ourselves slipping back into old roles. Most notably—the victim. It might sound harsh, but inside each of us, there’s a const
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Letting Go Is More Important Than Gaining
With the world we live in today—marketing, ads, content everywhere—it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset that we are lacking. That we need to go find something, someone, some next step to finally feel better, to get back on track. But here’s the truth most people miss: it’s not about gaining more. Most of the time, it’s about what we need to let go of. We often forget that it’s ourselves holding us back from healing and growth in nearly every part of our life. It’s the small
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
The Hidden Chaos: Life After Traumatic Separation in the Workplace
Employees who’ve gone through a traumatic separation often appear to be thriving on the surface. They may rejoin society with energy—hitting the gym, joining new groups, throwing themselves into work or hobbies. From the outside, it might seem like they’ve rebuilt. But beneath that shiny exterior, there is often a silent chaos. The inner world still carries the same patterns, the same wounds—just dressed in new habits. Here’s the truth: changing your environment doesn’t alway
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Self-Worth: The Invisible Architect of Our Reality
A perception of low self-worth is often the silent driver behind our deepest core wounds. Beneath most struggles in relationships, personal growth, and even professional success lies an internal story: “I’m not enough.” Whether this narrative was seeded in childhood through neglect, criticism, or rejection, or in adulthood through betrayal or loss, it has a way of embedding itself into the subconscious. From there, it begins to shape how we see ourselves, how we act, and ev
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
What Demotivates Us May Be More Than Laziness
Like most people, we often feel that we need motivation to start—a spark of inspiration to be creative or tackle a new task. But what if our lack of motivation comes from something deeper? What if our body is actually telling us the true nature of why we lack the drive? When we visualise something that demotivates us, we can analyse our body and feelings in that moment. What you may notice is that visualising something you fear creates very similar sensations. Could it be tha
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Breaking Free from Fear: How Attachment Patterns Shape Life After Separation
If we look at the behaviour of an adult after separation and even before, in a failing marriage, there’s often a chronic shrinking of the self. You feel unsafe to take risks, to chase your dream, to really live. Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, shows that children who experience responsive, consistent care early on, particularly from ages 1 to 3 develop a secure base for exploration and confident connection later in life. In those early years, a child uses their
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 51 min read
It Was Never You
So many relationship therapies will focus on learning how to see from another perspective, to learn what their needs are and engage in the relationship, but this method does not work for the person who has been manipulated to believe in something that was never real to begin with. For the person whose aim is only self, marriage therapy is not a way to work together. It becomes a way to gain control. To keep the false narrative alive that you were the problem. That all their
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Interpretation of communication
How we are interpreted , not how we intend , is the true measure of our communication. In high-conflict separation, particularly when legal processes, parenting plans, or sensitive topics are involved, this distinction becomes critically important. It's easy to assume that because we’ve chosen our words carefully, others will understand our message the way we meant it. But communication is not about precision of language alone, it’s about the emotional tone, the posture, th
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 55 min read
The Illusion of Narcissistic Value
The abuse in a narcissistic relationship is often long-standing, even after the relationship ends. But one thing stands out the most — the loss of yourself, your self-worth, and the false belief that you are incapable. The narcissist believes that by pulling you down, they raise themselves up. The little digs and constant cuts are meant to heighten their value over yours. They live with such a lack of internal security that they keep seeking external value, and by dragging so
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Choosing a path forward
It is important to recognise that creating narratives in your mind about what happened—why your partner left, what they did, what they “should” be doing now—will not change them or what they have chosen to do. No amount of anger, frustration, or mental rumination changes the reality of the situation. And yet, so many get stuck in this cycle: thinking that if they could just find the right perspective, the right argument, the right “truth,” somehow the outcome will shift. But
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
How Emotional Stress Impacts the Body, Mind—and Your Career
It is often overlooked just how much emotional stress during high-conflict separation can impact not only our home life but our career and professional reputation. Whether you are an employee or a business owner, separation stress does not stay neatly in a box labelled personal life —it seeps into everything, including your work. When we remain constantly focused on the negative—on the injustice, the betrayal, the fear of losing our children or our security—our body responds
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 56 min read
Emotional Regulation Through Movement: More Than Just “Go Exercise”
So, you’ve heard it all before. “Get off your ass and exercise, it’s good for you.” They all say it. You already know. But honestly, if you’ve ever tried to lift weights at the gym after not seeing your children for a week or more, it can feel like everything is pointless. That emotional lasso wrapped tight around your chest just doesn’t want to loosen. Here’s the thing—just like doing a job you hate, forcing yourself to do something you don’t enjoy, even if there’s a financ
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Blocks We Build After High-Conflict Separation and Relationship Trauma
The mental blocks we form after high-conflict separation and relationship trauma often go unseen — sometimes for years. They are not always obvious. Most lawyers, therapists, counsellors, even those who work day in and day out through the family court system, miss these deeper wounds — wounds that become so intertwined into our minds, our bodies, and our nervous systems, that they start to feel like a part of us. They sink in like parasites, embedding themselves into how we t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 55 min read
Co-Regulating Emotions in Intimate Relationships
Babies are not born with a fully formed sense of self. In the earliest stages of life, there is no distinction between "me" and "you." They perceive themselves as one with their caregiver and their environment. It is only through time, repetition, and emotional mirroring that a child begins to recognize their individuality. Through this co-regulation with a nurturing adult, a baby learns to soothe, to feel safe, and eventually to develop a separate and stable sense of self. B
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Roles We Play – Emotional Survival and Patterned Behaviour
From the moment we are born, we begin to learn how to get our emotional needs met. As children, we instinctively observe and remember: What behaviour brings comfort? What expression gets us picked up? What words make someone listen? Whether it’s a cry, a tantrum, a silent withdrawal, or a charming smile, these responses begin to shape the strategies we carry into adulthood. A child who throws a tantrum and gets the toy learns that heightened emotion brings reward. A child who
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 43 min read
Regret Over Reaction, Understanding Guilt, Shame, and Misalignment
Guilt and shame are heavy. They creep in after we’ve acted in a way that doesn’t sit right with us, after we’ve raised our voice, pushed someone away, said something we wish we hadn’t. These emotions often hit hard in relationships, especially when we're under pressure or already stretched thin. But here’s something worth sitting with: those behaviours might feel natural in the moment, but they’re not random. They come from somewhere deep, patterns, conditioning, survival res
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 44 min read
Food, Mood, and the Nervous System: What You Eat Shapes How You Feel and set of your triggers.
When navigating prolonged stress, especially in the context of high-conflict separation, it’s easy to overlook how much your diet influences your emotional and physiological resilience. But the nervous system doesn’t operate in isolation. It’s deeply connected to your gut, your hormones, your blood sugar levels, and your daily nutritional inputs. In high-stress environments, the right foods can support calm and clarity, while the wrong ones can amplify anxiety, worsen brain f
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 47 min read
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