top of page
Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
When Our Values Become Expectations
Let’s be honest here, if you hold certain values really high, you get frustrated when you feel others do not uphold them. I just bought my Jeep Wrangler and put the money down, and I’m still waiting a week later for the keys. Even though they need to do a service, the parts are there, and they want to get that finished and get a second key cut. My value is: get a product to a customer as soon as possible. It also doesn’t help that companies like Amazon get you a product prett
Andrew Jaensch
5 days ago4 min read
Generational Behaviour
Here is a biological truth we seem to always forget: generational behaviour either gets continued or it gets changed. It’s literally a choice. The same strategies used for fulfilling needs or protecting ourselves are often the same or very similar to those used by our parents, and their parents before them. We like to think we are making independent decisions, but most of what we do automatically comes from what was modelled before we even had the awareness to question it. Wh
Andrew Jaensch
5 days ago2 min read
You Are Not Tired of Walking on Eggshells in the Relationship, You're Tired of Monitoring Your Own Behaviour
Most people think they’re walking on eggshells because of their partner. But for so many anxiously attached or hyper-vigilant individuals, the truth is far more confronting: You’re not tired of your partner’s reactions. You ’re tired of analysing yourself every second of the day. But where is the true origin? You’re tired of trying to get everything right. Tired of scanning for micro-threats. Tired of trying to predict how someone might feel. Tired of checking, rechecking, re
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 203 min read
Training the Nervous System: Why New Strategies Matter After High-Conflict Separation
It’s going to be uncomfortable, like leaning over a sitting on herself and feeling that discomfort right up to your upper abdomen. BUT, working through our discomfort is where we actually grow. It’s where we become more grounded internally, more secure in our own ability to handle uncertainty, and where we develop new strategies that truly serve us. These are not strategies to manipulate an outcome. If you manipulate for outcome, you're still not developing strength in uncert
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 184 min read
Aggression by Association – The Hidden Narrative of Character Attacks
In high-conflict separations, malicious parents will often go beyond the family unit to paint a broader picture of instability. One common tactic is to construct a narrative of aggression not just towards them, but towards others. This includes neighbours, friends, church members, coaches, family acquaintances, and even strangers in public settings. The goal here is clear: to establish a pattern of behaviour, one that suggests you're not just difficult with your former partne
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children
The Sad Truth: Fighting Alone for Your Children The sad truth is, so many parents are left fighting alone just to be in their children’s lives. Yes, friends might check in. Family may offer a shoulder to cry on. But when the weight of the family court system bears down — when false accusations arise, when parenting time is restricted, when you're misjudged by systems that should protect you, it often feels like you are the only one standing in the ring. And it’s lonely. Paren
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
When Stress Walks into Work – The Corporate Cost of Deregulated Nervous Systems
Separation and divorce aren't just emotional breakups, they’re identity collapses. And in Western societies, where our lives are built around what we have, who we love, and the roles we play, the destruction of a family unit isn’t just personal loss, it’s structural collapse. It’s not the separation itself that tears people apart, it’s what the separation means . In countries like Australia, where justice systems drag on and favour procedure over humanity, separation can mean
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
When the Workplace Becomes a Lifeline, or Another Battlefront
As much as employers desire consistent productivity from their team, there’s a harsh reality that can’t be ignored: an employee navigating a high-conflict separation, especially one involving family court battles, estrangement from children, or ongoing legal stress, is often running on fumes. They are not just fighting for emotional survival; they are fighting for financial survival too. Their job may be the only structure left standing, the only lifeline holding their world
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
The Hidden Cost of Self-Worth: Why Projects Fail Before They Begin
In the corporate world, failure is often attributed to poor planning, lack of funding, or misaligned strategies. But beneath the spreadsheets, KPIs, and timelines, there’s a more human truth we rarely speak about: Projects often fail because the person behind them doesn’t believe they’re worthy of success. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a team leader, or an employee quietly carrying the weight of personal trauma, this truth applies across industries and roles. Self-worth isn
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 64 min read
Company Culture and the Misunderstood Vision of Its Leader
It’s not unusual to see a business that has no clearly defined mission statement, no real systems in place, and no process for how things are done. And when this happens, the product of that company becomes chaos—not the service, not the item for sale, but the actual experience of the company itself. Most people hear the word “product” and think of a physical thing or a service offering. But that’s a narrow view. The real product is the company itself—how it delivers, how it
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
Patterns, Predictability, and Supporting Employees Through Conflict Separation
When an employee is navigating conflict separation, their nervous system is already working overtime. The sympathetic nervous system, designed to keep us alert to threats, becomes highly active during periods of chaos and high stress. This means the individual is not just scanning their personal environment for danger — the workplace feels no different. At these times, the body’s role is not growth, innovation, or even safety in the expansive sense — its primary purpose is pr
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 63 min read
How Much Resilience Should Our Children Endure?
So many people say that children are resilient. And while this is true to some extent, it does not mean they will automatically develop healthy emotional coping strategies. In fact, when a child is constantly placed in an environment where they must adapt to pain, unpredictability, or emotional instability, their coping strategies may become their character. But are those coping strategies healthy, or are they survival mechanisms? What if what we often call resilience is actu
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
A safe place to call home, Why Stability Matters More Than You Think.
I can understand, as a father, being the one who has to leave the family home. All too often, fathers are leaving their home or being kicked out and having to look for their own accommodation. But let us focus here on how our children feel in our home or place of residence. Whether this be a rental, your own house, or even if they are staying with their mother and you only get to see them on the weekend. If you cannot see your children at this time, it is hard to have any con
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Emotional Outbursts and the Safety to Feel
It can be confronting when your child begins to unravel emotionally after separation. Maybe it starts small: irritability, resistance, mood swings. But then comes the outburst—in public, at school, in a restaurant. A wave of emotion that catches you off guard, and with it, an urge to control, to shut it down quickly. Often, it seems less about the child's behaviour and more about controlling the perception of others: What will people think of my parenting? What does this say
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
You Do Not Need to Know, Child interrogations don't bring clarity.
You may feel that you have to know what is going on in the other parent’s home and with your child, but you don’t. The urge to question your child after contact or visitation is common—often driven by a deep desire to protect or prepare. But beneath this surface lies something more primal: the attempt to soothe your own nervous system. The feeling of not knowing can feel intolerable in a high-conflict separation, and parents may turn to their child to fill in the blanks. But
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Importance of Extended Relationships for a child
If your child has been withheld from you and you are going through a custody battle, then more than likely, you and your entire family are being prohibited from seeing your child or children. This behaviour—where one parent withholds a child—is one of the most painful experiences a parent and extended family can endure. One day you might be interacting with your children daily, and the next, they are gone, with legal proceedings becoming your only path forward. You may turn t
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Court ordered Child focused programmes
Programmes such as kids are first and other parenting programmes are what I think is one of the best courses for any parent ordered by the Family Court, simply because both parents are usually ordered to enrol in the training, it seems to be the only course that both parents actually have to enrol in, however, the coarse is not reported on, or evaluated other than the parent receiving a certificate of completion, a simple “tick the box” to please the court, while some parent
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Poor Behaviour That Hurts Children and Your Position in Family Court
Let’s look at some poor behaviour that does not serve children, or a parent’s position, during high-conflict separation and the family court process. First, it’s important to acknowledge the pain you may be feeling. The actions we take in these moments often feel like desperate attempts to connect with our children—especially if we are spending less time with them, or have not seen them for some time. Family court is an environment of immense emotional stress, and that stress
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Breaking Free from Fear: How Attachment Patterns Shape Life After Separation
If we look at the behaviour of an adult after separation and even before, in a failing marriage, there’s often a chronic shrinking of the self. You feel unsafe to take risks, to chase your dream, to really live. Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, shows that children who experience responsive, consistent care early on, particularly from ages 1 to 3 develop a secure base for exploration and confident connection later in life. In those early years, a child uses their
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 51 min read
It Was Never You
So many relationship therapies will focus on learning how to see from another perspective, to learn what their needs are and engage in the relationship, but this method does not work for the person who has been manipulated to believe in something that was never real to begin with. For the person whose aim is only self, marriage therapy is not a way to work together. It becomes a way to gain control. To keep the false narrative alive that you were the problem. That all their
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
bottom of page