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Articles and Blogs
Our articles and blogs dive deep into the emotional reality of conflict separation, exploring the pain, fear, and growth that come with co-parenting, rebuilding after loss, and learning to love again. Through honest reflection and grounded insight, we unpack the hidden patterns and emotional triggers that shape how you think, feel, and respond during and after separation.
These writings explore what it means to raise children between two homes, to face the uncertainty of new relationships, and to navigate the complex layers of identity that form when love, family, and trust have been tested. These writings aim to help you recognise your emotional triggers, understand your behavioural responses, and uncover the internal representations you’ve built from your past experiences, the mental and emotional filters that shape how you see the world, others, and yourself.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, you begin to shift from reactivity to regulation, from fear to understanding. Our goal is to help you find calm through the chaos, rebuild emotional safety, and create relationships, with your children, your partner, and yourself, that are rooted in awareness, authenticity, and growth.
Family Court, creating Trauma for children.
With so many parents, individuals, court employees, specialised and experts expressing dissatisfaction with the Family Court system it becomes increasingly clear that the issues within the system do not fall solely on the judges, lawyers and experts. While some may make grave errors and be swayed by personal biases and external influence, it appears more and more that the Family Court system is fundamentally broken. It is no longer serving those who seek its shelter and aid.
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Blaming after divorce and how it affects our children.
The malicious parent will avoid responsibility for any fault of their own within the relationship. I have heard many parents blame the other for their current position in life, with little to no reflection on how their own choices led them there. Often, this delusion and avoidance of responsibility stems from a character disorder. A parent with such traits may make statements like, “He is the reason I was unable to finish my college degree,” or, “I had to take care of the chi
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
The Hidden Wounds of Parental Alienation
In conflict separation and the family court process, it is often seen that one parent ends up with primary care of the child. In some cases, this is necessary—particularly when there is a genuine and proven history of abuse. But where it is not, or even in cases where abuse may have occurred but has been handled without addressing the deeper needs of the child, the real and lasting wounds are often formed in silence. Much of our culture discusses how a father’s treatment of a
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
When Stress Silences Love: How High-Conflict Separation Shapes Parent–Child Bonds
High-conflict separation, especially when drawn out through the family court system, can be one of the most emotionally destabilising experiences a person can go through. If you already live with an anxious attachment style, this process may feel like confirmation of your deepest fears, of being abandoned, misunderstood, or rejected. When the future of your relationship with your child feels uncertain and you are being scrutinised at every turn, your nervous system can easily
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Poor Behaviour That Hurts Children and Your Position in Family Court
Let’s look at some poor behaviour that does not serve children, or a parent’s position, during high-conflict separation and the family court process. First, it’s important to acknowledge the pain you may be feeling. The actions we take in these moments often feel like desperate attempts to connect with our children—especially if we are spending less time with them, or have not seen them for some time. Family court is an environment of immense emotional stress, and that stress
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Children First: Why Emotional Coaching Matters in High-Conflict Separation
During the chaos of high-conflict separation, parents can become so caught up in their own emotions that they forget the role of co-regulation for a young child’s mind. A child who once lived in stability and routine, rhythm and melody , can be pushed off centre into a structure of misunderstanding. Their emotions can’t handle what they don’t understand. What looks like tantrums, anger, hitting, or talking back is often just pressure building—feelings that can no longer be co
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Choosing Fulfilment Over Familiarity: A New Path
You may be standing at a crossroad right now—torn between going back to the job you used to do, the one that paid the bills but never truly lit you up, or choosing a new path that feels more aligned with who you are becoming. After separation, trauma, or life upheaval, it’s natural to crave safety. To crave stability. You might think, “Maybe I should just go back to what I know.” But something feels different now. That old life, as familiar as it was, doesn’t quite fit anymor
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Relationship Choices After Separation, And How They Affect Our Children
The truth is, after high-conflict separation, many parents are driven by a strong urge to jump straight into a new relationship. It helps calm our nervous system. It makes us feel wanted again. We crave that feeling of being chosen, and sometimes, the return of butterflies feels like healing. But what if those butterflies aren’t chemistry, but familiarity? What if the pull is not a sign of something new, but a sign we’re repeating something old? And what if, in the rush to fe
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
The Discipline of Delayed Gratification After Separation
After a high-conflict separation, you can find yourself back at square one, emotionally, financially, even spiritually. Years of building stability, creating a home, working hard to accumulate assets, suddenly disrupted. Courtrooms, legal battles, accusations, and the distribution of things you once considered yours, your safety, your structure, your peace, become the new normal. It’s not just grief. It’s disorientation. In the chaos, risk becomes terrifying. Creativity goes
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Seeing Through Their Eyes, Why Your Former Partner’s Perspective Matters
In the aftermath of high-conflict separation, it is natural to become consumed by your own perspective. You’ve likely spent countless hours analysing what went wrong, replaying events, and trying to understand how someone you once trusted has now become unpredictable, even adversarial. When legal accusations, emotionally charged texts, and conflicting co-parenting approaches enter the picture, your instinct may be to focus on disproving, defending, or correcting your former p
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
A Letter from Your Future Self
It’s interesting how we often become anxious about the future, angry and regretful about the past, but mostly feel sad in the present moment, especially when everything seems to be falling apart. We search for instant gratification to escape the situation we’re in and avoid our emotions, especially when we don’t have the safety we need to feel them. We may jump into new relationships to avoid doing the self-work that really needs to come first. We don’t create a life of our o
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Fear of Success After Separation
After a harsh and conflicting separation, many of us don’t simply walk away unscathed. The trauma lingers. It’s not like being hurt by someone and then leaving the environment and person behind, it doesn’t just stop. For many, the pain and conflict carry on well past the breakup. The body remains on high alert. The nervous system becomes heightened, hypervigilant, constantly searching for where the next threat might come from. I once met a woman who slept with a knife under h
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 54 min read
The Search for Validation: Why We Struggle to Keep Moving After Separation
The Search for Validation: Why We Struggle to Keep Moving After Separation At some point—after the heartbreak, the longing, the endless tears—we decide it’s time to get our life back on track. We make that quiet commitment to change. To heal. To start again. But here’s the thing: if we focus too much on the result rather than the process, we often find ourselves slipping back into old roles. Most notably—the victim. It might sound harsh, but inside each of us, there’s a const
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Letting Go Is More Important Than Gaining
With the world we live in today—marketing, ads, content everywhere—it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset that we are lacking. That we need to go find something, someone, some next step to finally feel better, to get back on track. But here’s the truth most people miss: it’s not about gaining more. Most of the time, it’s about what we need to let go of. We often forget that it’s ourselves holding us back from healing and growth in nearly every part of our life. It’s the small
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
The Hidden Chaos: Life After Traumatic Separation in the Workplace
Employees who’ve gone through a traumatic separation often appear to be thriving on the surface. They may rejoin society with energy—hitting the gym, joining new groups, throwing themselves into work or hobbies. From the outside, it might seem like they’ve rebuilt. But beneath that shiny exterior, there is often a silent chaos. The inner world still carries the same patterns, the same wounds—just dressed in new habits. Here’s the truth: changing your environment doesn’t alway
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Self-Worth: The Invisible Architect of Our Reality
A perception of low self-worth is often the silent driver behind our deepest core wounds. Beneath most struggles in relationships, personal growth, and even professional success lies an internal story: “I’m not enough.” Whether this narrative was seeded in childhood through neglect, criticism, or rejection, or in adulthood through betrayal or loss, it has a way of embedding itself into the subconscious. From there, it begins to shape how we see ourselves, how we act, and ev
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
What Demotivates Us May Be More Than Laziness
Like most people, we often feel that we need motivation to start—a spark of inspiration to be creative or tackle a new task. But what if our lack of motivation comes from something deeper? What if our body is actually telling us the true nature of why we lack the drive? When we visualise something that demotivates us, we can analyse our body and feelings in that moment. What you may notice is that visualising something you fear creates very similar sensations. Could it be tha
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 52 min read
Breaking Free from the Programmes That Keep Us Stuck After Separation
If you’ve been through a separation, you may find yourself replaying the past, focusing on everything that went wrong. It hurt. The emotions you feel now may be hard to sit with. If you suffered abuse, betrayal, or had the rug pulled out from under you, the shock can be overwhelming. “How was I so blind?” is a question many ask themselves. Often, people play their character so well during a relationship that their underlying motives never surface — though occasionally, they p
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
Breaking Free from Fear: How Attachment Patterns Shape Life After Separation
If we look at the behaviour of an adult after separation and even before, in a failing marriage, there’s often a chronic shrinking of the self. You feel unsafe to take risks, to chase your dream, to really live. Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, shows that children who experience responsive, consistent care early on, particularly from ages 1 to 3 develop a secure base for exploration and confident connection later in life. In those early years, a child uses their
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 51 min read
The Mechanic of the Human Mind
Oh, to be the mechanic of the human mind, to look down at a world full of beings who all seem so similar in biology, able to speak, listen, create, and explore. Not unique to a single group but to the whole. And yet, to two individuals with similar biology, one can, and one cannot. Imagine if humans were like vehicles, taken to a mechanic who is asked, “What’s wrong with this one? All the parts seem to be working just fine, but it just won’t do the things I want it to.” But i
Andrew Jaensch
Nov 53 min read
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