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A Letter from Your Future Self

Posted By Andrew Jaensch  
04/07/2025
15:28 PM

A Letter from Your Future Self

It’s interesting how we often become anxious about the future, angry and regretful about the past, but mostly feel sad in the present moment—especially when everything seems to be falling apart. We search for instant gratification to escape the situation we’re in and avoid our emotions, especially when we don’t have the safety we need to feel them. We may jump into new relationships to avoid doing the self-work that really needs to come first.

We don’t create a life of our own, or become the man or woman we need to be for the person we truly desire to be with. Instead, we hide the work and pain. Not only are we afraid to confront it ourselves, but we’re also afraid others will see it. So, we put on masks, fake our emotions, neglect the internal work—and when things don’t work out, we find ourselves back at the start, going through the same cycle all over again.

I’m not saying that we should never invest in new relationships or that it won’t hurt if someone leaves. I’m saying that our happiness, purpose, and fulfilment shouldn’t be built on another person. Chasing someone instead of your dream or passion only pulls you further from your authentic self. We have this infatuation with the idea that a partner will solve all our problems when we’re lonely, but the honeymoon period always ends—and if we’re still not whole within ourselves, we will always crave more.

A biological drive to unite and breed doesn’t mean a life fulfilled, or that we’ve found a union where two individuals can truly be their authentic selves. John Glover, in his book No More Mr. Nice Guy, talks about the power of being our true selves and attracting relationships that reflect that. Roxie Nafousi explains in Manifest that self-love is our future self thanking our past self for the actions we took. How can our future self thank us if we never tried to heal? If we ate cake when we really wanted to be fit? If we never tried to start the business or take the leap because of fear?

Your future self is rooting for you. They’re saying, “You’ve got this.” That’s what self-love really is—love for the person you’re becoming. But so many people stay stuck, greiving the person they could have been, afraid of who they might be, or hating who they are now. When the energy to try is gone, they may blame their former partner, but blame changes nothing. Only action does.

I know the task of rebuilding after separation can feel huge. But small steps, taken consistently, add up. It’s momentum that builds speed, and repetition that builds change. You can read all the books in the world, but unless you apply what you learn, there’s no transformation. Everyone is an inventor in some way, but only those who take their ideas to market can profit—if they work.

We often see people where they are now and forget how they started. We see their growth but not the long periods where they saw no results. We mistake discipline for punishment, but really, discipline is a form of self-love for the future. It brings the emotions we wish we felt now. You don’t have to feel happy to start—you just need to start. Even if you’re crying the whole time.

We can always learn from mistakes, but we can’t learn from something we never try—or never revisit to understand. Separation is not a failure. It’s a lesson, if we choose to grow. But many stay in the dark for too long.

In Plato’s allegory of the cave, prisoners spend their lives chained, watching shadows projected on a wall. These shadows become their reality, even though they’re just distorted reflections of what’s really happening behind them. Only one prisoner escapes and sees the truth—the light, the real forms. But the others don’t want to leave. They know no better life.

We are the same when we stay in the familiar, even if it’s painful. But once we choose to turn around and walk toward the light—toward truth, healing, and authenticity—we become free.

Your future self is there, cheering you on. And one day, they will say, “Thank you—for not giving up on me.”